kristen halborg

[Pete O'Mane]

Whilst it's true there is no evidence about T May, it's a well-known fact in the porn biz that certain performers are, well, notorious in matters flatulent.

Here's a list currently in circulation advising of the worst culprits and their favoured weapons


Marino: Blind Farts
Traditional noiseless reekers. Apparently first used as a retaliation to Hayley Russell (see below)during a "watersports" shoot.

Kirstyn Halborg: Boomers
Full-throated, rousing explosions; she frequently betrays her authorship with a smile of ill-concealed pride. Although the video that started this thread is obviously a fake, its existence can be seen as a tribute to her reputation.

Omar: Carpet Creepers:
Heavier-than-air creations, these linger and permeate the atmosphere at or near ground level; invariably anonymous, Omar having already left the set.

Hayley Russell: One-Cheek Sneaks:
Attempted surreptitious contributions, usually signified by her telltale "tilting" during a shoot. Ricocheting off plastic or wooden surfaces, they possess magnificent resonance and can be something of a shock for partners in the vicinity (see Marino above)

Michelle Thorne: Parps
Open-sphincter donations, gusty and full-bodied, but lacking sonority; popular on outdoor shoots; customarily unacknowledged.

Ben Dover: SBDs (Silent But Deadly):
Consistent with the Law of the Conservation of Energy, what Ben's SBD lacks in audible qualities is compensated for in semi-lethal olfactory intensity. The King of UK Porn is apparently a past-master of the innocent "who me?" quizzical look.

Vida Garman: Screamers
High-pitched, tight-sphincter offerings, often of astonishing duration and tonal variation; one supposedly cracked the lens of a nearby video camera caught in the blast (fate of the cameraman unknown)

Lynda Leigh: Squeegies:
Small, immature and moist products. Humiliating for all concerned.

Lyndsey Dawn Mackenzie: Wet Ones
aka Brewers' Farts, grains and all, Fudgies, Playing Misty, samples are accompanied by gutteral, rasping or lisping sound, indicating vaporous content. LDM characteristically registers astonishment, then usually departs, walking funny.

[Netfreeek]

Seen this film...German hardcore...also Jenny Mansfield

[~The Artist etc]

Great Stuff.Humour is not dead.Good on yer blue.Too many
pompous prats about.

[Mr Magoo]

Bloody hell! I have just thrown t. May out of my house for breaching the fire regulations. And now fucking LDM has just turned up in a asbestos suite with 45 cans of beans and a blowtorch.

[Mr Magoo]

For all you non french speakers look up how to say " the farter" or watch the film of the same name. Inspired my friend!! And who said porn-anoraks had no sense of humour.

[Pete O'Mane]

Glad you enjoyed it Mr Magoo. And well done at spotting the monicker, just one of my several pseudonyms on this forum. We may be porn anoraks, but we do enjoy a giggle. Scuse me, gotta run, just heard a porn star let off - Wally Wanka