Trap one.

[Lizard]

I was at a retail outlet today, and decided to go for a piss, I went in a cubicle, and in the next one to me a guy was taking a dump!, this was no ordinary dump, it started like a cruise missile attack, and took the doors of all 12 traps, it went on for some 5 minutes, children were crushed in the panic to get out, I was trapped by the blowback, and pinned down, several emergency services were called when the lights failed, and some large extractor fans were moved into place, funny thing was he was oblivious to the damage he had caused, the cunt didn,t even wash his hands.

right I,m off to bed with some toast, and me pile ointment.

[jj]

Why a cubicle?
Are you worried about the size of your pee-wee?

I much prefer the rugged camaraderie of the porcelain..........more than four shakes and you're wanking, and get yer head kicked in by the Neanderthal at your elbow.

[Deuce Bigolo]

You want real problems...try this build up

Walk for 7 kilometers briskly then start consuming sultanas & prunes
for the remaining 7 kilmetres

By the time you get to the Lav your likely to blow it out of the floor

Speaking from experience at a distant Super Market.....I left in a hurry before i could be detained under the Air Pollution Act 1963......the pain involved in holding it in was unbelievable

Unfortunately I didn't have me hand-cam with me on the day so you'll have to take my word for it

cheers
B...OZ

PS Forgot to mention...before you start the walk its important to load up some fuel......eat 5 curry sausages & 2 poached eggs dressed in worstershire sauce

[jj]

I've always thought that diet influences temperament- look at the Mediterraneans, all that garlic and gesticulating, very excitable chaps. And with your Arabs, all those spices and funny pulses, makes them permanently disgruntled, always shouting about this and that.
Whereas our diet predisposes us to be more phlegmatic and generally relaxed about things.

But then, we're British.........