Call a Doctor, you Bastards!!!

[Lizard]

I cut me finger on a piece of paper, and it hurt like a bitch!, actually I did it two days ago, but didn,t think it important enough to mention, what with Iraq, and the Butler report etc, any fucking road up, the fucka still hurts now, it,s worse than bieng hit by a truck, and hurlted 100ft in the air, or having yer nut ripped off by a chainsaw, or possibly bieng disemboweled...
Alright, I,m exgagerating a tad.....................still fucking hurts though!.
Has anybody else had any any life threatning injuries recently? no namby pamby stuff please, only near death experiences only thanks..


NURSE!!!!!!!!!!

[Paul L]

I've just trapped my big toe between the bottom of the door and the floor and nearly pulled of the toe-nail.

Mega pain, done about an hour ago and still have tears in my eyes.

Hows that then?

[Peter]

Apparently, paper cuts are the No.1 way to contract Ebola virus. You only need start worrying though, if your internal organs start to liquify.

i Think the proceedure then is self-immolation, but best check with NHS-direct just to be safe.

[Arnold Layne]

I fucking got a huge electric shock off my video machine yesterday, the slag had been playing up for ages so I opened it up, and my mobile rang, as I answered it, I dropped it in the now open video player, not thinking I grabbed the phone, touching the fucking power or whatever it was on the video, nasty shock, gave me a headacje all day, the video blew up, so I took it outside and got medevial on its ass with a baseball bat, it won't be shocking no fucker again that's for sure, still got a nice 4 head nicam with a shuttle dial later on, swapped for a few dvds!

[Lizard]

Well, Iv,e got a pancreas, sticking out of me nostril!, should I be worried?
is that e-bay-ola, where you get all the bargains...

[bigjossy]

arnold you should have used a pair of plyers and a blowtorch, LOL

[Pervert]

Now that would be a terrible torture, death by a thousand paper cuts.

[Arnold Layne]

Lol, yeah nice 1 BJ, I've lost count of the video machines I've "gone to work on"!

[mart]

This reminds me of a very clever movie about a German attempt to fool a US officer into revealing the Allied plans for the invasion of France. He gets kidnapped, kept drugged for a short time then while recuperating is told that the invasion has failed and Germany has invaded Britain and the war is over.He is on the verge of falling for it when he spills some salt which gets into a cut on his finger and he remembers cutting it on a piece of paper. So it means that he did it only a short time before so the story he's been given isn't true.
What's the name of the movie?

Mart