IKEA... The Final Solution

[jj]

It's nice to know I don't have to travel 3 000 miles to get fucked-over.

Just don't get me started on the 'instructions' that come with their flat-pack stuff..............

[Deuce Bigolo]

If you ever need any spare screws,bolts,nuts etc I've got the complete collection after 4 DIY Furniture Jobs

In fact the desk I'm sitting(No 1 DIY) at seems quite stable...probably down to the use of bastards inc. superglue

Its the trolley wheels that are pissing me off big time

cheers
B....OZ

[Lizard]

There is no "critique on MFI" as they simply dont exist in my world, I only ever ventured in once, and was horrified at the age of the staff, a man in a long black coat, a mask and a scythe-asked me what I wanted! and just before I could answer a bed and a drip appeared, I thought I,d ventured on to the set of six feet under, I made my excuses and fucked off.
MFI....Mother Fuckers Incorporated.
Dont go there.

I think Holden works there........

[Lizard]

They must have been up all night thinking of that one! "Hmmmmm vot color do you thinks vould be nice for England Sven?" " I dont give a fuck!, have it match the meatballs"...."yaahh, blue and yellow it is"

[jj]

No: Holden works at Primark.

[jj]

.......the meatballs are easily the best thing at IKEA, and a lot cheaper and tastier than their 'skogsnufvar' range of MDF floor-tiles.
Their cafeteria at least offers unlimited free refills of industrial soft drinks- hence all the mini-chavs writhing about on the floor in hyperglycaemic fits.
Avoid the peach yoghurt, though- it's so 'live', it attempted to grab me by the throat and copulate with me.

Best offer I'd had all weeek, alas................

[jj]

I have several hundredweight of spare screws already, thankyou: you could say I've got lots of screws loose, hah hah (in humble imitation of the Great Caractacus, that one........).

[Pervert]

I am not worthy.

Good to have you back, JJ.

[jj]

Yes, I have finally relocated to my spanking new, bijou, split-level cardboard box in the outer fringes of NW Lunnun, luckily situtated a fair bit to the north of the recent hoo-ha and alarums in W11 (like the Fringe, only with more okra, but fewer drugs).........

[Pervert]

If only they'd listened to your advice, Lizard: