Following on from the B Manning thread...

[Sam Slater]

..........give the board a situation you found funny, but knew it was wrong.

Mine:

Me & my girlfriend used to go swimming a lot. One day a load of kids came in on like an outing, and they were all amputees.

This one guy had no arms at all, and his legs were cut off at the knees. Anyway he managed to swim a full length of the pool and then just floated on the water waiting for the group leader to pull him out.

Another guy had no arms but his legs were fine. He ran and dive bombed into the pool head first. Trouble was, it was the shallow end and he cut his head open. I nearly peed my pants that evening.

On the way home my girlfriend asked how the guy with no limbs at all could swim. I said his name was Bob. I'm sure she went to work the next day telling people she'd met a man in the swimming pool with no limbs...........and his name was Bob.

I've been unable to own up and she wouldn't get it anyway.

Bad Sam.

[Sam Slater]

I'm gutted Wazza.

If I was Catholic, my sins would be forgiven. Since I'm not, I expressed them here!

You, of course, have never committed such a shameful crime! How I wish I was you Wazza!

[Sam Slater]

What? Admit to laughing at other peoples misfortune as well as telling people to F-Off in one day?

That's suicide around here isn't it?

[one eyed jack]

Well I found it funny. Cruel yes..But funny. Us humans can be a sick twisted lot. But I still like to think I am a humanitarian.

Bob...That is funny.

[Sam Slater]

Finally a man with a sense of humour!

Of course, I'm training to be a physiotherapist so I'll be of use to people in a similar situation one day. Making amends for a past life! (that's me making amends, not the amputees. I'm not Glen Hoddle !shocked!).

[planeterotica]

A man with no arms or legs was sitting alone on a beach when a women came along and feeling sorry for him she said excuse me have you ever been kissed the man replied no i havnt so the women gave him a kiss and walked on, a while later another women came along and said to the man excuse me have you ever been hugged the man replied no i havnt so she gave him a hug and walked on, a short while later another women spotted the man sitting there and said excuse me have you ever been fucked the man replied no i havnt the women said well you will be in a minute because the tides coming in.

[Steve R]

How did Bob manage to swim?

I'm stumped.