Fishy Stories. O/T

[Lizard]

There is a man sitting on a train eating a bag of fresh prawns, ripping the shells off and throwing them out of the window. He has eaten a few when the woman opposite says "Would you mind not doing that, it?s disgusting to watch".
He says "Listen love, its got nothing to do with you, I've paid my fare for this journey and I'll do what I want on this train" and carries on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating the prawns. Finally he finishes the bag and settles back to have a sleep. The woman then starts knitting - all the man can hear whilst he is trying to sleep is the incessant clicking of the needles. After about 15 minutes he sits up and says to the woman "Could you stop that noise - can't you see I'm trying to sleep".
"It's got nothing to do with you", replies the woman, "I've paid my fare and I'll do what I want on this train." At that, the man grabs the woman's knitting and throws it out of the window. The woman gets up and pulls the communication cord.
The man says "Ha ha, you'll get fined 200 pounds for that!"
The woman replies "And you'll get 6 years when the police smell your fingers!"

[woodgnome]

thankfully, forensics will ensure that the gentleman need have no cause for concern.

woodgnome - resident killjoy

[Lizard]

And doing an sterling job!

[Freddie Fish-Filleter]

I object strongly to these jokes! We in the fish industry have fought long and hard to have our unique smell accepted by society. And as a feminist I object to the stereotypical idea that a girls "billinsgate box/fish mitten/salmon canyon" smells fishy. Now if you will excuse me I am about to haul in a net full of prawns from Crab Bay (down wor lasses pants).