Offering my filming skills

[BillBXD]

Sheds are difficult to light though I feel that a few trips to B&Q will get that real authentic Arthur Jackson shed vibe caught on tape. I would start with 2X500 watt halogen lamps with a nice soft filter. For the filter I would use something simply such as my mum?s old tights or my grannies new panties but note I said NEW to avoid her old ones and make sure Gran isn?t in the pants as the lamps can get hot. Then I?d suggest some portable lighting such as a few Pifco hand held torches set to wide beam say about 47 of them. It?s also a good idea at this point to drive the car on to the front lawn utilising the main beam setting and giving an extra few watts of lighting but again please look out for Gran who is wondering around looking for her new pants. To set the mood and help to get a white balance I find candles make perfect light and about 3000 of them can generate an alarming amount of heat so I?m always sure to keep all people with spontaneous combustion problems and producers of porn with pony tails clear of the set. Finally I set the LUX setting on my ?199 1 chip Curry?s camcorder to fcucking dark mode and begin filming. I used this exact method when I filmed the trailers with George Lucas for Star Wars the attack of the sheds and Star Wars Return of the Apex Roof. I also did the trailers for Lord of the Sheds and the Fellow ship of the sheds along with Matrix Revosheds and Evosheds the later being the hardest to light as Trinity did insist on wearing black.
I have decided not to attempt a diagram as it?s strictly forbidden under the trade secrets act of 1937.

Fred (in a B&Q shed)

[JimiTheSaint]

where you the guy who did Shed Dragon and hunt for the Shed october?

[BillBXD]

No that was our kid but I did Raiders of the lost shed, Terminator 2 judgement shed, A Shed too far and just last week I completed the Hitchhikers guide to a SHED.

I also did the video for Right Said Fred ?I?m Too Sexy For My Shed? and Chris Deburgh?s ?Lady in Shed?.

Fred (I luv my shed)

[Bigshow]

Under the Mental Health (Film makers in the Community) Act 1995, your last film "A Shed Too Far" was consided your finest film.
But brought back terrible memories for your nickerless gran of nylon nicker rashioning during the war(nickerrash).
Fred's gran quoted "It was hard times back in the shed days, all the family huddled round one candle waiting for the Germans to invade. It seems any film maker can buy 1000's of candles from Robert Dyas & cheep silk nickers from ann summers, it dont seem right do it."

After reading this heart renching story Tarratino was inspired to write his new film called Kill Fred.....

[BillBXD]

Oh the golden years when a man could make films about his shed and not get accused of being some sad shed exploiting psycho. After making A Shed Too Far I drifted a little and made some bad movies such as One Man and his Shed and The Old Grey Shed Test both good in their right but a little exploitive. I?m now happy to spend the days in my shed trying to compete with the multi national DVD Authoring companies who charge a fortune. I?ll also take on the odd newcomer offering DVD Duplication. I know it?s looked down upon to take on the giants in rip off land but all I want to do is create films in my little leaky shed

Fred (King in his shed)

[Bigshow]

In the land of men with one shed, the man with two sheds is king.

So all hail king Arthur "Two sheds" Jackson.

The king is dead, long live the shed....

[Phil mCc]

We call them "Huts"

Phil McC