Personally, I'd be emotionally bereft if I wasn't subject to the every tedious detail of where Mr Pulley has been dipping his wick.
Inspired by Carl's frequent posts, I'm happy to let you know that I fingered a school dinner lady around the back of the Spar last weekend? I'm happy to provide full details if anyone is interested?
PS: Didn't you miss a "ner, ner, ner, ner, nerr" at the end of your post Carl?