egafd.com

Oh dear. A fit of acute male ego methinks.

So it's ok to watch porn and enjoy seeing a girl getting a good seeing to so long as it's not your girlfriend/wife/sister/niece/aunt. etc. Or, wow she's great and likes a good fuck but I wouldn't want to marry her because (a) I couldn't cope with knowing loads of men had been there before me and (b) she's damaged goods. What it actually boils down to is that you couldn't cope with the possibility that she might make a comparison. Marry a virgin at your peril is what I say!

Now, I love a good seeing to in front of camera but lets not get that confused with intimacy. It is no more intimate than sticking your finger in someone's ear. What is intimate is sleeping with someone, holding hands through town, being there for someone come rain or shine, hugging someone because you want to be close to them and doing all the other things that are important to a relationship other than sex. Porn actresses and studs know this and so do their more enligtened life partners. In fact I've been fucked senseless on several occasions on film only to be asked if I'd join the stud for a drink afterwards or go out for a meal because they are, in my opinion, lonely and crave intimacy.

Look the best way to deal with the 'girlfriend who's a porn actress' syndrome is to remember that she goes home with you! You, no-one else, not the director, not the producer, not the stud(s), not the punters, YOU!

Wendy XXX

Ps Or my first less considered response........you bastards!

I think you hit the nail on the head Wendy. It's the fear of the comparison. I dont think anyone (male or female) would like to think that their partner had been with someone who was better in the sack. If your partner has done porn, then I think you would assume they had had better, even if they told you they prefered sex with you. Its human nature to be insecure in that way I reckon. As for if its hypocritical to enjoy porn as long as its not your wife / girlfriend in it... well i enjoy watching boxing, but I certainly wouldnt want to watch my best mate / brother get in the ring and take blows to the head. I know its slightly different, but i hope you see what im getting at.

Yes it is partly a comparison thing but the boxing analogy I do see where you're coing from but er.......no it's not the same. Boxing is painful and runs the risk of death. Unless you argue the HIV aspect of porn, which no one has in this thread, there is just no comparison.

Basically it all boils down to insecurity and trust. Quite natural of course but then jealousy is one of the more destructive emotions!

Wendy XXX

she'd look like katrina bowers

I agree with you. I think what I was trying to say is, that everyone has different standards in whats ok for their nearest and dearest, and whats ok for strangers. That might not be fair, but its the way most of us are i guess.

Security as in feeling insecure due to her having sex with so many people, but I think thats fairly natural.

Im gonna clear this up now because its not just a porn related thing, its my general thoughts. I wouldnt mind going out with a porn girl as a girlfriend for fun and not overly serious etc. I think its just an extended version of a non-porn girl who has slept around a lot just it can have the added pain of knowing its on tape forever and a lot of people have seen it. Once youve passed that barrier of the L(ove) word then you reach a whole new area where insecurity kicks in and the idea of her having had sex with virtually ANYONE makes my stomach cramp. Im well aware im immature about this, inexperienced and insecure hopefully itll change to a healthier attitude though.....sorry if i offend...

I dont disagree with you wendy but the whole description you gave of intimacy sounds like an ideal to me but then getting home and thinking about how many people have had sex with the girl on camera actually hurts me as a thought, because its just not natural - its not natural to see your "life partner" on camera being fucked senseless and thus not nice to know it has taken place even if you choose not to watch

I think im just transposing these thoughts onto the limited experience I have of intense feelings and all I can say about that is that it would seriously upset me, but then when youre in love Dawson Creek stylee then just seeing someone being touched by someone else is heartbreaking.

I know there are a lot of people who are happy with their porn star partners and/or enjoy seeing their lovers having sex with their partners, for others its the exact opposite of pleasure -pain...its a simple issue really.

Idoldroog: OK, I understand you but then again those ideals of intimacy actually exist for me, my partner is reluctant to post himself on these forums but I'm telling you now that these attitudes have made his blood boil almost as much as mine. Those " ideals" are the reality for us (ok, get the buckets out) To him I'm neither the innocent or the whore, I'm just me. That obviously makes him an exceptional man.

Tomsk: Grow up! 'He knew that he could get away with her being 'innocent' as there was no solid proof' Oh for goodness sake, next you'll be dragging girls around by their hair.