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No No..Magoo, you got it all wrong...eg

My wife can;
wash the pots with her left hand.
Do the ironing with her right hand.
Hoover with her left foot.
Dust with her right foot.
Make a phone call.
Mop the floor with her arse.
Open bottles with her belly button.....

.......She's a "Swiss Army Wife".

you calling my beer a poof? lol

it would surely need to be the legendary Alex Best, she can even bring her old hubby George along for the ride!!
crofter