tracy-ann oberman

[Holden MacGroyn]

I see you have excelled at cunting celebs off!
Is this the same Liz!!
I love you Liz.
It's as simple as that.
You're cunting ability has sky rocketed.

To be honest I demand you take a urine test to prove it's not steroid enhanced cunting off.
I demand you also take the piss out of another celeb just to make sure it's not a fluke.

[Lizard]

Cheers Holden, I actually have no qualifications at slating celebs, it,s all from the heart, as is everything I do.
No urine test for me...............nobody gets me piss sorry! it,s too precious, I bathe in it and clean me teeth in it.
I also do 'Cunting Celebs' to order, you can have a 3* to a 5* cunting at a time and place of your choosing.
I know you love me Holders, and I love you, but dont make it too obvious eh!, remember we are big hairy arsed men, and other forumites may get the wrong idea.

xxx

[jj]

She's only ACTING, Steve.
It's not real.
Although I suppose she might be stuck-up in real life, too, although I can't say I care that much, or, indeed, at all.

And for a moment I thought this was going to be about another 70s playground romance, tragically going wrong due to pulled pigtails, or something.

[jj]

He called Wendy Richard a 'cunt', If the report are to be believed. And he was equally complimentary (and eloquent) about other cast members, Jessie Wallace and Mr Redcoat Richie eliciting particular venom.

Of course, he was absolutely accurate in his assessments, just crassly stupid to have voiced them so publicly.
But then, intelligence has never been his strong suit.
Or wit.
Or talent.

[steve56]

shes got that look about her too,i must say i had the hots for pam salem from the dagmar yrs ago.

[jj]

All this macho posturing and subtle homoeroticism and male-bonding is a dead giveaway, isn't it? I mean, Maggers just addressed you as a 'fruit', even, how much more evidence do you need?
And 'Liz', it's hardly dead butch, eh?
See?
See?
Then there's all that stuff about knitting-patterns.


Sorry, I was thinking about the 'People's Friend' in that last bit.
Sorry.

[Lizard]

There is no pecker polishing going on between me and magg,s we are just dedicated toilet terrorists, we go in let loose and leave, thats it! leaving a bewildered public gagging and screaming for air, you can join us of course, but you will need an O level in 'malling' and a lurid collection of piss stained farrah,s and a matching 'fred perry' jumper, also you will be on 'probation' until you can clear a toilet in 20 seconds.

[jj]

I'm not even in your league in the defecatory department, Your Noble Stinkinesses, you are truly Heroes of Our Age, why the Queen hasn't knighted you for your Serices to Poo, I'll never know, honestly some Civil Servant does one through the eye of a knitting-needle* and gets a gong, it's just not fair, I'm going to become a republican, so there...........
..........I accept now that I was in grave error and that you are both Utterly Completely Dead Butch and in no way devotees of Putting Percy up the Chocolate Speedway, and will publish a grovelling full-page Apology in tomorrow's Church Times and the Gardener's Weekly, but not the People's Friend (see above, and below).



[*Sorry for bringing up knitting again, it was an accident, honest]

[Lizard]

Good!, now I have to go, I am peparing Magoo,s evening meal! and warming his toilet seat, we are having his favourite.....steak and cowheel pie, with lashing of the brown stuff.