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I hold you entirely responsible for the fact that I am now receiving several thousand mails a day from the general direction of Magoo, in which he adopts the style of Avid Merrion, offering disgusting sexual remarks thinly-disguised as humour.

I await your thoroughly-deserved Mark 2 Mega Magoo-Flaming, with relish, and a side order of milkshake and fries.

Do we have any of those?
Sensitive forumites: surely a contradiction in terms?

Although I'm a bit sensitive in the groinal region at the moment, due to an unforeseen encounter with a hippopotamus: but more of that anon, anent and above.

thats the funniest fucking thing ive seen in a while. although im not sure why ur all going on about ur looks

I never said that Keats said that, merely that I might BE John Keats.
And how do you know I meant the Keats who may or may not have written that line? I might have been referring to the Keats who empties my dustbins, he writes some great poetry, all about recycling, and bacterial infections and stuff.

Why so my leash? be still mu beating larry

He sounds exactly the same as Magoo when he's pissed.
Have I hit on something significant here, about the Human Condition?

Or is it just the usual bollocks?

And verily thou shalt piss gravy, and lo there was gravy, in boats and ting

Because we are hoping the chicks from the other side are reading this and think "Aw you poor souls (or is that arseholes) You all seem so nice yet ugly, that I want to bone you." Personally, for my checklist, I am hoping that Rebekah D, Sandie Caine, Amanda Dawkins and Cathy Barry are reading this.
Anyway, I'm a stud, by that, I mean I'm short, round, smooth. cheap and reflect in the sunlight.

Would that be one of my Tings with an Om?

Yes, but can you grill plaice in your underpants........Ha I tought not