Liz Hurley

[Fastbike]

Who else has seen Gentlemen Prefer Blondes?

[Officer Dibble]

Always gettin' 'em mixed up.


Officer Dibbs

[Pervert]

Yeah, all those pinko commie subersives look the same

Have to agree with you re Marilyn. Any bloke not moved by her in Some Like It Hot should donate his testes to someone who could use them.

[Officer Dibble]

I agree. Liz has on occasion been a genuine stunner, and I just lurve that plumy accent. If she renounced the bullshit Hollywood diet and her celebrity pretensions I'd let her be my squeeze like a shot. She's the sort of bird you need on your arm when attending a posh 'do.'

Officer Dibbs

[Fastbike]

Yeah , right she seems to like Harvey Brocklehurst-Dent whose family own Sudeley Castle , I imagine she bought that pile in the Cotswolds to be close to that crowd, I will prolly die one day skidding on some mud that her 5.0 litre Luxobarge Range Rover scattered on the road .

[Officer Dibble]

Brocklehurst-Dent? That commoner! Pah! Liz should be teaming up with a man of true stature and standing in the community - Officer Dibble - The man with the plan. I recon we'd make a great team. Liz would get to smoke my beef twice daily as well as basking in the not inconsiderable prestige of dating one of England's most eligible nouveau riche Peelers. And of course I?d get to fondle her tits and run my fingers through her minge (class birds always have a decent minge) whenever the fancy took me.

Yes, the old flash bulbs would be poppin? if I turned up at ?Stringys? with Liz on mi arm I can tell yer. County life would be fallin? over their jodhpurs to sign me up as their latest celebrity columnist. Branson would be on the dog ?n? bone sweet-talking me to endorse his new range of ironic ?Virgin? porno vids ? ?Yeah, sure Dick. So long as there?s no slappas in ?em.? and Jamie Oliver would invite me round to his TV gaff and concoct a tasty new desert in my honour, ?Dibbles Delight? the active ingredient of which would, no doubt, be persona-non-grata at the ?Just Say No? convention. Wheyhey!


Dibbles mi name, shagging's mi game!

[Lizard]

I can see it now, Liz and Dibbs,......er Hurley that is!, only it might be wise not to mention 'smokin me beef' on your first date Dibble, take her to Annabelle,s, then back to yours for coffee and after eight, oh no! sorry ferrero rocher, and some vintage port, before slipping into your YSL dressing gown, and spanking her with your copy of Tatler, I hear she likes a bit of bottom play.......

[Officer Dibble]

Luverly jubbley. Now that's what I call sex. I'd much rather spank Liz's bottom than watch a trailer load of shit 'A.T.M., Cherry Pickin' Bukkake Blitszrieg, Anal Fuckfest, Cream-Pie Holocaut Part Umpteen' piss-taking videos. In fact I'd pay not to watch 'em. They're for the prols (lumpen variety.)

Yep, I have to hand it to you Liz, you've certainly got your finger on the pulse. I can see your a chap of similar tastes in top class totty and like me you're a man who knows how to treat 'em. Yes, I had hread that Elizbeth likes the more refined tipple, so I'm just poppin' down the cellar to see'f I can find that bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream mi Grandad (God bless him) left to me. Should be well mature by now. She'll love it.

Officer Dibbs