Piss Poor Double Acts

[Cate]

The worst of the lot are probably these two, first Keith Harris and Orvil, and Bernie Winters and shnorbitz, I think I spelt the Dogs name wrong, he was a huge Saint Bernard, pity he did'nt do a CUJO.

Cate.

[Holden MacGroyn]

Shut up punk, Bernie Winters ruled and so did Schnorbitz mark 3....the previous two caught rabies and did some serious fucking baby eating.

What was Bernie's catchphrase? It was a fucked up sound that I can't even begin to spell.
You know what I mean though.

I hate ventiloquists as a rule.
Spineless bastards.
I was at the Comedy Store a few weeks ago and Tom Conti's daughter, NIna was on stage with her stupid fucking monkey that:
a) Isn't funny
b) Sounds like the granny from the Kumars at No. 42

I heckled big time and when it comes up on the Paramount channel, listen out for a row of coughs that sound very much like "SUCK".

[steve56]

bernies catchphase was chuttiface or something?

[Holden MacGroyn]

I meant the "hhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnn" kinda sound he used to make.

[steve56]

he was a heavy smoker ;always thought he was overbearing with brother mike.

[steve56]

another two;bob and alf pearson;the western brothers.

[Pervert]

Bernie quit showbiz, changed his name to Jimmy Calderwood and now manages Aberdeen FC.

Say what you like about Schnorbitz, but he was funnier than Mike Winters.

And remember, ladies and gentlemen, all these names that are cropping up are the ones that that useless Nazi gimboid Garry Bushell would want back, saying the great British public wants a return to the golden days of variety.

PS---Did anyone mention Keith Harris and Orville.

PPS---Thanks for your eloquence with regard the Skinner and Ba--, Holden. I'm trying to cut back on my cussing and you saved me losing it big time.

[Lizard]

These two fucka,s should be a shoe in.........
they have gotta be the worst, Maggs,s drinking problem, and Holdens bed wetting, they are SO not funny, Holdens catchphrase, of ' they dont like it up em...but I do!' is about as funny as a horse shitting in your bed, and Maggs,s...'I,m only here for the queer' is plain Jizz in your pocket, Cannon and Ball are BAFTA winners compared to these two gonad munchers....and Holdens pathetic pretend hatred of G.Bush.....give me a break!, he,s related to the monkey breeding bender!! he spends half his time at the White House, or is that the shite house!!! (another Holden gag there!)

right...I,ll get me mac!

[Cate]

Bernie Winters was terrible, the Dog was the talanted one, he should have stuck to sheep.

Cate.

[Pervert]

You're just bitter and twisted because they threw you out of the act after the trouse trumpet solo went horribly wrong during a summer season at Skegness.