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Crackers, I'm proud of you son.
You're like the bastard child that I have had to hide in a bricked up room.

But now you have fully come out with the tourettic and cynical nature of me.

I remember the days when you sat on the fence and nodded to both parties.

Crackers, I love you.
I want your Caledonian arse.


The L.A brigade are the fucking vainest cunts I have ever had the misfortune to come across.
In a couple of gigs I've had, their attitudes have been as plastic as their faces fucking retarded cretins.

It's like the Stepford Wives for real.

Well, with you as me surrogate dad and Magoo as me mum, it had to happen

The worst thing going around at the minute in the US of A is having plastic surgery on imperfect toes

For that perfect look when your showing off your pinkies in public

Who wants to become a slave to their body

cheers
B....OZ

Thing is bro, they all begin to look the same after a while.
All these women following a patent of what "perfection" is.

Give me imperfect and honest any day, just make sure her eyes match.

"I had all 4 taken out at once so I'm a total thick cunt, but you all already knew that"

Of course we did!, but 4 at once, you should get some kind of award for that! hmmmmm.. what the dentist equivalant (sp) of the oscars, oh I know! "the Molars" .....and the best supporting slack jaw award goes to Holden........
cue sound of Novacane being played in the background, as Holden goes up to collect his dentures.......
I wanna thank my mom, my pop, and the cunt that kicked me off me bike and made all this possible, I,m just a poor white homey from a sink estate, that had a dream...........

I am a bit of a pussy and have bad reations to anaesthetics.
I flatlined the day they took my wisdom teeth out.

I was pretty young at the time and woke up to find it odd that my mother was in the recovery room trying to calm me down as I had some king sized convulsions on the bed with 6 nurses holding me down.
Any other time, I would have chatted them up, but alas, my mouth and brain were fucked.

Injections scare the fucking shit out of me.

A lot of people dont like injections, in my dark past, I rather quite enjoyed them, if you get my drift...and 6 nurses holding me down sounds like heaven to me! we have had the dentist thing before, and I really dont mind them at all, a mate of mine (female) told me years ago, to think of it like you would getting your hair cut, as in someone is looking after your appearance, sounds crazy I know,but it works for me........I just concentrate on my dentist warm breasts brushing up against me as she gives me whatever treatment is needed, she is so fucking fit, the plastic apron they put on you is horizontal with me chin! do yourself a favour.. get a female dentist..

I have an old bald Russian dude who jabs in tune with his stammer.
He wears sandles and refers to himself as "One" and he drive a Porsche 911 Carrera Turbo.

I'll swap ya.

Why can't I find a dentist chick like in porn films.
I go in with a tooth complaint and she lets me crack one out down her throat.

It's not too much to fucking ask for.

liz - its great to have u and all the family here.

but i feel u missed out on holdens piss take of me in his .... pnenonal - no. pedantic - no. oh whats that word for second to last????


ANYWAY HE WAS TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME!

i really really mean this. i need to know why yanks take the piss out of our teeth.

no jokes now only proper answers.

I wasn't taking the piss out of you in my penultimate bit!

You must have misread it deary.