films that are too long.

[Ace]

Spot on with Pearl Harbor.......I forwarded it to the last 25 mins for the REAL action.
Saving Private Ryan drags on in places, as does Schindlers List, but they are SO good, it is excusable, same with Deer Hunter and Godfather.
I find films that are 'average' at best REALLY fucking drag, shite like Four Weddings and a Funeral spring to mind.
Now, epics like 'Giant', 'Once Upon a Time in America' and 'Good,Bad & Ugly' NEED to be in excess of 3+ hours, it is necessary in certain cases, and I would happily sit through those with NO intention of forwarding to certain scenes

[Holden MacGroyn]

But do you agree, oh follower of all words bollocks, that Once Upon A Time In Mexico was the biggest cockshite ever with that strand of sweaty anus pube, Johnny Depp hogging it.

[Holden MacGroyn]

So Grasshopper, we have only but one way of true Zen enlightenment.
You brick baseball bat and I'll bring pliers and together we can hurt dat der dem bitch.

Johnny Depp? Fucking Dick more like.

[BillBXD]

Mind you Mr Prof I must say that Lord of the BOLLOX lost its appeal when it was pointed out to me it wasn?t a documentary! I recall felling rather pissed and cheated as I cashed in my ticked on flight BA 5893 to middle earth.

Damn that balsted hobbit whose computer trickery messed up my mind

[BillBXD]

Last week I watched this film called The Inauguration of the Pope.
Now I must confess I found it a little deep and long winded and the story was a little hard to follow made more difficult by this bloke talking through it the whole time but I did rather get the gist of it. It turned out some bloke died and these other blokes with pointy hats started a fire. Then when the fire roared they voted with their pointy hats on for this other old bloke and then the smoke turned white. Then they gave him some nice white clothes and piles of money and he paraded round the streets in this white Hillman imp estate with bullet proof glass. I did find the special effects a little lack lustre but realised they had spent their budget on the crowd. The Hillman imp was in rather good condition but I did feel that a Hummer would have built the film to a better climax. I must admit the house they filmed the blokes with pointy hats in was bloody good and I?m not sure where they filmed the crowd but I don?t think it was the Quasar centre in Walsall.
Anyway I?m not sure who made it or when it will be released on DVD but if you find GWTW, Matrix, Titanic, Shrek, Pearl Harbour, Look Whose Talking & Honey I ran the Kids over in my Hummer a little long winded, this may not be the film for you.

Next week I?m watching The General Election pre countdown special. It?s about this bloke who says this other bloke is a Fcuking liar and he can?t do his sums. Then the other bloke says NO the other blokes a Fcuking liar and he can?t count. Then this Fcuking Hillman imp bursts in and runs the fcukers down.

[TheProf]

Lifes a bitch,Bill.
Keep taking the popcorn...actually it's far better to look up some 18-year old totty's skirt,preferably,blonde,while bending over the 'hillman'...REAL eye candy to be sure.

Never mind those in Downing Street or palaces in Rome-bring back usherettes in short frocks selling ice-creams in cinemas,far more enjoyable watching than the rubbish on the screen.

Two ice lollies,Miss...and are you free tonight around the back?

[Deuce Bigolo]

Drum Roll

Film Stock...running time 908 hours...believe it or not



I can recall watching Aldous Huxles " Brave New World" on TV over 4 hours
and I'm here to say 4 Hours of Woody Allen is WAY TOO MUCH.The review of what the film is trying to say somes up the length to a tee

For mine its all about the Story

If your drawn into it the running time doesn't mean squat

I could sit through The Good,The Bad & The Ugly(161 minutes) a hundred times and not walk out but give me another John Wayne predictable "Classic" and I'll walk before it starts

Same goes for most predictable films especially "Super Hero" where the Good always triumph over the bad

cheers
B....OZ

[The Last Word]

To me a too long film is one that could've done its job more effectively in less time. For some reason (perhaps to measure out the budget) your modern Hollywood blockbuster often tests your patience for twenty minutes more than needed - Pirates of the Caribbean and the otherwise gulity pleasure Bad Boys 2 being prize examples.

Chancing a public stoning, I always thought A Clockwork Orange dragged on to its overall detriment, whereas lenghier K epics such as B. Lyndon and EWS seem perfectly formed. Odd that.