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It's not that. I really want to know. Emma's hamster lives in the piano room. I thought if he was deaf I wouldn't have to keep taking him out when I want to play the piano.

Anyway, Emma just informs me they are not deaf so that's that.

Yes but they live in burrows so there's nothing to see so they are really short sighted

They're not deaf but they are total bastards.

When I was 17 I had a girlfriend who thought I was too much of a lad. Desperate to alter her opinion of me, and thereby secure more regular access to her knickers, I helped her little sister build a new deluxe cage for Sherbert, her hamster.

It took me an entire day and it was a thing of beauty. Calling my girlfriend in to marvel at my handiwork and caring nature, I picked up Sherbert from her old cage to transfer her into the new cage. The fucker sank its teeth so deeply into my hand that they got stuck in my flesh, and I actually had to lift its head up to prise it out from the gaping wound. It promptly savaged my other hand too, and then legged it across the floor. Six stitches, I've still got the scar, and the girlfriend went cool on me for trying to stamp on Sherbert in front of her little sister.

Hamsters. Wankers the lot of them.