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I don't know what number we're on, and this will probably be the only female of the list.............can you guess who I'm talking about?




































Kelly Steele. What a frickin eeejut she was/is. Was her death fake or what?

I'm not so sure, I heard Steeley showed a lot of mettle (metal, !doh!) in facing her fate which is, as you say, fake. She bought a bootleg pirate fate from a crank- Budhisst destiny adjuster. which, being an overly literal Non-English savvy Indian tweaked her fate to sail the seven seas and have one of her stills on the flag as the Jolly Rogerer.

She'll be plundering booty from the Pacific Division of Ye Olde-Tesssscooo-- aaaaaaaarrrrrrrr.

Do you know she moved to Sheffield? I was in a pub with my ex one saturday night and this -what I thought at the time- American bird ask me to get her a glass of water (twas a busy night and I was at the bar).

She struck up a conversation with my ex, and seemed pleasant enough.

I'd heard of Kelly Steele while out in LA but never knew what she looked like until her raving rants on these forums pricked my curiousity; and there she was, the bird that was chatting my bird up.

I now call it the gillette moment - the closest shave I've ever had.

I'll play the Mad Burt card, factor 23.

Absolute bummonkey.

..........but a justifiable 'Strange Porno Death Rating, a meagre 15- pretty justified when you consider USA externally-administered (assist) or self-inflicted (own goal) pornowhackings. Darkly joking in case the mawkish whingers indulge their hypocrisies by taking umbrage and getting their flavoured dummies covered in carpet-stoor brought about by involuntary spitting.

You must have had your Wilkinson Sword Sensitive moment when it twigged, foaming at the mouth.

Arrrrrr Captain!

Mad Burt - who he? Before my time?

I also thought that the name Froglin referred to some sort of amphibious fellatio. !sherlock!

One of brebears bum chums

ff: You have won a bonus for your amazingily timed play. Over To Graham for a look.

Voiceover:

"Yes, Jacques, the 'unspecified parameter factor' which is actually THE Twuntfactor has won you a choice of life-changing top prizes. As no player interjected on the hand with, "Mad Burt Tanning Lotion for Men, factor 23? Untrumpable, higher factors can only be cement or cakemix." You can choose from:

-winning the next five TopTwunts, and becoming an exclusive rare breed of all-star twunt;

-A decorative twunt makeover, with the options of going hairy, shaved or Brazilian; a bicycle dynamo will be positioned above your lips to act as the clitterator, which will activate upon stimulation and friction. Your body will be draped with luxury meat curtains, and you will be talk of the town with admirers from all walks of life, lovingly extolling, "Oi, you, ya fanny!", "Way-hay ya massive CUNT!!" and "You must feel like a proper twat".

-?2.83 of Luncheon Vouchers.

The choooooooice.................. is yours!!!!!"