egafd.com

Officer Dibble wrote:

>
> "Multiculturalism is a fake construct and doesn't seem to be
> working"
>
> Ah yes, this is the new political thinking that has recently
> been gaining ascendancy amongst the Guardian reading classes.

I came to that conclusion several years ago when I finally worked out what multiculturalism meant. My views on this come from having lived in Britain's most mixed borough for most of my life, and attending a local comprehensive where white kids made up about 10% of the school. Most immigrants WANT to mix and become more British. Creating policies that keeps divisions in place is the result of allowing well-meaning but ignorant liberals to set policy in areas where they have no direct knowledge. Londoners have proven that diverse races and religions can live in peace together - better let Londoners set race policy than New Labour graduates from the Home Counties.

> "better have policies that encourage integration BOTH WAYS"
>
> 'Both ways'? Don't you think the indigenous population might
> have something to say about that?

The indigenous population needs to understand they're living in the 21st century. Britain has changed enormously in the past century - largely for the better. Change happens - we need to get used to it.

Hey man, forget all the local slang for money, 'cause some of it even has me stumped. The "official unofficial" slang for money in England is "Pee" for Pence and "Quid" for Pounds. Say those words in any part of the country and you can't go wrong.

But Sams's right though, the tills in shops will use the official terms, but I and most other people (other than the fags up top) normallly stick to "Pee" and "Quid", both in the north and south of England.

And when referring to the ?5 and ?10 notes we use the slang "Fiver" and Tenner", just as Sam said.

And that's part of the reason why we use the word "Pee" for Penny/Pence; that and it's a literal way of describing one of our coins. Our coins simply have the following inscribed on them:

1p

2p

5p

10p

20p

50p

So we call them exactly what they say they are.

Yep, Sam's right. I buy a LOT of stuff from the US over the Net, and the exchange rate at the moment is around $2 to every ?1.

I think you're getting your "muti-cultural" mixed up with your "multi-racial". I wouldn't mind Martians living in England, just so long as they do as the Romans do, if you get my drift?

Mind you, it's damn expensive and the weather's shite!

Yup, waaay too expensive, but the weather competes with the Med in most summers. The winter's crap though. But the winters are becoming shorter and shorter these days, and I can't remember the last time I saw snow down here in the south.

I got your drift SB.

Right up to Lenny -fucking- Henry, and then I lost faith in you !laugh!

Sam Slater wrote:

> I got your drift SB.
>
> Right up to Lenny -fucking- Henry, and then I lost faith in you
> !laugh!

I almost took his name out... but he's suffered for his art (and so have we). !happy!

This is old but still funny - a guide for tourists visiting London. !whistle!


> The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to
> as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to
> come to the pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern
> word for what was once called a "shilling" - the equivalent of
> seventeen cents American. Underpants are called "wellies" and friends
> are called "tossers." If you are fond of someone, you should tell him
> he is a "great tosser" - he will be touched. The English are a
> notoriously demonstrative, tactile people, and if you want to fit in
> you should hold hands with your acquaintances and tossers when you
> walk down the street. Public nuzzling and licking are also
> encouraged, but only between people of the same sex.
>
> Habits
>
> Ever since their Tory government wholeheartedly embraced full union
> with Europe, the Brits have been attempting to adopt certain
> continental customs, such as the large midday meal followed by a two
> or three hour siesta, which they call a "wank." As this is still a
> fairly new practice in Britain, it is not uncommon for people to
> oversleep (alarm clocks, alas, do not work there due to the magnetic
> pull from Greenwich). If you are late for supper, simply apologize
> and explain that you were having a wank - everyone will understand
> and forgive you.
>
> Universities
>
> University archives and manuscript collections are still governed by
> quaint medieval rules retained out of respect for tradition; hence
> patrons are expected to bring to the reading rooms their own ink-pots
> and a small knife for sharpening their pens. Observing these customs
> will signal the
> librarians that you are "in the know" - one of the inner circle, as
> it were, for the rules are unwritten and not posted anywhere in the
> library. Likewise, it is customary to kiss the librarian on both
> cheeks when he brings a manuscript you've requested, a practice
> dating back to the reign of
> Henry VI. One of the most delighful ways to spend an afternoon in
> Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their
> flat-bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole.This is known
> as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-i-nals") are
> privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent
> them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman
> that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to
> know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with
> vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to
> buy a can of Crisco and have it on you when you ask directions to
> the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced
cottager.
>
> Food
>
> British cuisine enjoys a well deserved reputation as the most sublime
> gastronomic pleasure available to man. Thanks to today's robust
> dollar, the American traveller can easily afford to dine out several
> times a week (rest assured that a British meal is worth interrupting
> your afternoon
> wank for). Few foreigners are aware that there are several grades of
> meat in the UK. The best cuts of meat, like the best bottles of gin,
> bear Her Majesty's seal, called the British Stamp of Excellence
> (BSE). When you go to a fine restaurant, tell your waiter you want
> BSE beef and won't settle for anything less. If he balks at your
> request, custom dictates that you jerk your head
> imperiously back and forth while rolling your eyes to show him who is
> boss. Once the waiter realizes you are a person of discriminating
> taste, he may offer to let you peruse the restaurant's list of
> exquisite British wines. If he doesn't, you should order one anyway.
> The best wine grapes grow
> on the steep, chalky hillsides of Yorkshire and East Anglia - try an
> Ely '84 or Ripon '88 for a rare treat indeed. When the bill for your
> meal comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay whatever you think is
> fair, unless you plan to dine there again, in which case you should
> simply walk out; the restaurant host will understand that he should
> run a tab for you.
>
> Transportation
>
> Public taxis are subsidized by the Her Majesty's Government. A taxi
> ride in London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a
> taxi driver tries to overcharge you, you should yell "I think not,
> you charlatan!", then grab the nearest bobby and have the driver
> arrested. It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus
> drivers are required to make detours at patrons' requests. Just
> board any bus, pay our fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-colored
> coins are "pence"), and
> state your destination clearly to the driver, e.g.: "Please take me
> to the
> British Library." A driver will frequently try to have a bit of
> harmless
> fun by pretending he doesn't go to your requested destination.
> Ignore him,
> as he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know
> you're not so ignorant!).
>
> Speaking of the British Library, you should know that it has
> recently moved
> to a new location at Kew. Kew is a small fishing village in Wales.
> It can
> be reached by taking the train to Cardiff; once there, ask any local
> about
> the complimentary shuttle bus to Kew. Don't forget that buses are
> called
> "prams" in England, and trains are called "bumbershoots" - it's a
> little
> confusing at first. Motorcycles are called "lorries" and the
> hospital, for
> reasons unknown, is called the off-license". It's also very
> important to
> know that a "doctor" only means a PhD in England, not a physician.
> If you
> want a physician, you must ask for an "MP" (which stands for "master
> physician").
>
> For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be
> the most
> economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman.
> Chivalry is
> alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the
> Tube.
> Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the
> escalators or
> on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored
> Tube musicians.
>
> Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes
> disturb
> the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were
> smuggled
> into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have
> proved
> impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a
> signal
> that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very
> few people
> have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered
> only a
> minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation.
> (If you
> have difficulty locating the Tube station, merely follow the signs
> that say
> "Subway" and ask one of the full-time attendants where you can catch
> the bumbershoot.)
>
> One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at
> Heathrow
> airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international
> Jewish peace organization - the "shin" stands for "shalom"). As
> savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority
> treatment
> as you make your way through customs; otherwise you could waste all
> day in
> line. You might, in fact, want to ask a customs agent to put a Shin
> Fane stamp in your passport, as it will expedite things on your return
> trip.

Erm....they don't, actually.



Mojo wrote:

> And that's part of the reason why we use the word "Pee" for
> Penny/Pence; that and it's a literal way of describing one of
> our coins. Our coins simply have the following inscribed on
> them:
>
> 1p
>
> 2p
>
> 5p
>
> 10p
>
> 20p
>
> 50p
>
> So we call them exactly what they say they are.

Hey, you're right! I've just had a close look and they simply have the number but with name engraved around the edges! Stupid me. !blush! But then I'm not much into coins. I just know them at a glance and that most people call them by their slang names. Couldn't really give a s*** what they've got on 'em really, just so long as they get me what I want! !laugh!