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That thought had also crossed my mind.
I am to chatting-up, what Yosser Hughes was to employment........

I knew it wouldn't take him long to find this thread...I'm off before he mentions my boss eyed condition....oh bollocks,

I'd have a stern (stern, geddit?) word with the Captain, if he had gravy in his boat, I mean, surely it's against Queen's Regulations, how would they swab the decks, they'd have to use breadsticks instead of mops, and then the Cook would complain that he'd had to serve Hovis in the Mess cause some cunt had nicked all the breadsticks, and the ratings would say, never mind that Mess, what about the bloody mess down here, all this fucking gravy and we haven't had any shore leave since the Battle of Trafalgar.......

I never rated naval,s, I did have a cousin at the gas board if you wanna meter

I am practising lying, as part of my religious devotions, if you don't mind.
Enjoy your Holden-cunting session.
I will watch with interest.

I'll see your pish at chatting up and raise you women turning to lesbianism before they'd deign to agree to a date with me

Trump that, so-called JJ.

Being pissed is no excuse for excruciatingly bad jokes.
I will hammer you, when you are sober........
Alcoholic Remorse will take on a whole new meaning..........possibly as a type of Andalusian fruit, or one of those fiddly things that come with flat-pack furniture. I haven't decided yet.