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Ah, that's different - they simply had to do their job properly otherwise the entire sewage system in this area would collapse.

I get my pork pies from a local family butchers. They are superb! Real slices of lean pork with a touch of mustard or pickle enclosed in honey drizzled pastry. Mind you they cost a quid a shot and the pies themselves are not particularly large, but nonetheless excellent.

And remember, people, this is the man who spends 23 hours a day with his arse clamped to the cludgie.

These proper pork pies have never given me the runs or caused me any discomfort in the arse area.

Prefer the huntsmans pie. Pork pie with chicken and stuffing on the top.

Yes, good call. I haven't had one of those for years, but when I have they're delicious.

Also the pork pies that have slices of apple or peach enclosed within them - mmmm, luvvorley!

I find it ironic that a company that makes pork pies is called Pork Farms and their products are horrible. All grease and congealed jellified lard.