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Or blame the dog (always keep one handy....).

in the office? i could fein(?) sight deficiency. on re-reading my previous post it occurs to me that maybe i shouldn't tell everything. so, how far away from the original topic are we now?

Right, Enough already, I,m hijacking this thread as it,s becoming annoying, your both under arrest for not mentioning "tits"once in this sorry saga!
you can spend the night in the cells, and chant s56,s56,s56 until yer tonsils drop out.

About 3.2 kilometres, give or take the odd yard.
Ask a silly question........

i can only say in our defence C I Piss ( tits div.) that he started it and i am an innocent bystander and my mum and your wife go to bingo together

Where is he, BTW?
I hope I'm not beginning to miss him.
Now THAT would be REALLY mad.........
I've always found beetroot goes very well with pork pies, meself. But I'm not hard-and-fast about it: gherkins or a pickled onion would be equally acceptable. Or even a nice tomato.

Right, you both had a warning, I,m off to bed now, if there,s one more posting on here, there,s massive trouble..

(sound of truncheon hitting head)

little tip. tescos own brand beans and sausage (c.37p) with cheddar mixed in, on toast gives some quite astonishing results. you would never believe how vocal ones nipsy can be

Won't be me, Sir: all that talk of food made me hungry, so I'm off for a bit of a bite.

All this, AND rolled-up trouser-legs, funny handshakes and endemic corruption.
I'm well impressed............