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If Claire had an op too maybe her top could be bottom?

Right on. Of course the trouble here is in the pronunciation: I would be in a lot of trouble were I to visit an American donkey-farm..........'that's a nice ass you've got there.....ouch ! Stop hitting me' !
I notice also the incipient demise of 'bum' as a (broad) synonym for 'arse', it having been highjacked (there's another moribund spelling, BTW.....) by US usages, although it has seen a recent revival as a verb.....I find 'arsehole' a lot more pungent as an insult (or accurate description, quite often) than 'asshole'.

Good grief !
The lad only wanted you to pick yer favourite bum !
All you had to do was wax lyrical about Ms May or Kellemarie's posterior, and leave it at that.
And BTW, you forgot to rant on about how the fashion trade is also full of chocolate-speedway merchants, who are making clothes fit only for androgynes to wear, because they hate women........

Roxanne Kedge.
Plenty to get hold of, and all that insulation when the bed's a bit cold.

BTW, watched an old Nici Sterling (US) scene recently, where she distinctly said 'arse'.
Good on yer, girl.