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Your around my age son, it's just that I don't have 8 bellies and a one pack.
I would rise to the challenge and burn you in Mile End.

You only want to hang with me so you get some chance to score some pussy. Ain't happening dude.

a burn? you mean a body popping contest? Have you seen me lock & tut? just bring your own lino mate

Just cutting it from my mum's kitchen punk.
I'll be windmilling down to Trumpton wit ma posse beyatch.

Make sure you bring a bottle of pledge, as us pikey chavs can only afford that evil smelling happy shopper shit

Yeah but as you never wash, your back should be as greasy as fuck.
That's why you are using your own lino.
My lino is decent lino.
Like at school, you had to cover your books with wallpaper.
That's how we knew you were a pikey chavster.
Your dad tried plastering your book cover.

No my lino's better than yours cos I just got it out of the tip at B&Q, I thought wallpapering your exercise book was the fashion then? now you tell me Holden, I wondered why no'one would ever sit next to me, then again it may have been because I always scrtached my arse and sniffed my fingers, I'll never forget those trousers you used to wear with the turn ups? ankle swingers weren't they called? that showed you wasn't even wearing any socks, you filthmonger

Well at least I didn't wear Dunlop Green Stripe trainers and hand me down Uniforms you king of all things Pike.
Should've payed more attention in school.
Now get back to the video shop and rent out the films I'm in you chav.

Is your shop local?
Under the counter type shit?
How many pieces of ID shall I bring?
Does it have to be legit ID?

It was Dunlop green flash you schlag!, with no laces in them as well!
Yes my video shop is local, it's called
Chaver video
We have no films on the shelf whatsoever, except for yours
EVERYTHING is under counter
Just bring in a food stained telephone bill or the like that you have just found in someone's dustbin,
failing that a can of Kestrel super, and ten sovereign fags should suffice, and I'll let you rent out all the films you stared in, as long as you don't wear out our copy of My Beautiful laundrette, as It's the only one we have left now

"We have no films on the shelf whatsoever, except for yours"

That,ll be the 'Chaviator', where we get to see Holden take on a gang of schoolgirls with his Burburry handbag, and lose!
And as he,s gettin the shit kicked out of him, he,s goin, mum! mum!help me..
but to no avail, as she is pissed in the pub, and trying to sell her claire,s accessories jewellery to the highest bidder, sadly no takers, meanwhile our hero, after a check up at the local A&E climbs back in his nissan micra, and drives off as fast as he can-shouting......me brother will twat you, he,s well hard, and he has a fake gucci watch etc.....

Oh yes! Iv,e seen it Mac groyn, stick to the Mc donalds job, even you cant fuck that up!

Shit we don't have that one Liz, I've tried our "usual" suppliers down the local car boot, any chance of a copy? on VCD? spread over as many discs as possible? as we can't afford to do dvds here mate, and the more discs you can put it on the more I can charge for rental here at Chaver video (inc) tell you what is it the famed directors cut I've heard so much about? with the deleted scnes & audio commentary from the acutal schoolgirls?