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I was just about to mention him but then I figured nobody would know who I meant!
He used to have the Paul Squires show on ITV years back!!

You didn't mention him to me you slag.

Fucking wanker turned upon Banzai last year.
It was a guess the burned out celebraty from his knob round.
Ugly skinny slack jawed 4 eyed tiny peckered cunt.....and that's you that is.

Have you eve seen a piss-stained old alky, lying in a pool of his own urine and vomit in smelly alley? That's your style guru, that is? That's your idea of sophistication.

The Young Ones ref was the Boticelli game or as Vyv put it, "Jelly Botty where you eat 50 curries".

You see a mouldy old MacDonalds Happy Meal that has been discarded carelessly and is lying in a puddle in a gutter with a dead bird nearby.....that's your Christmas Dinner that is.
"Mmmm Yum Yum" you say, "Can I have seconds mummy?"

He got hamstrung by the TV authorities who hated Spit the Dog. So he had to invent Cough the Cat, a totally unfunny waste of material (clothe and comedy).

Longthorne actually looked like a younger version of Les Dennis's funnier partner, Dustin Gee. Did a very good Shirley Bassey impression, which says all you need to know about his sexuality.

O'Connor, if he was starting out today, would be a Big Brother contestant. Someone absolutely desperate to get his phizog on the goggle box.

You'd already won when you said McDonald's.

If I have improved at this, it's only through watching the masters at work over the last few months.

You know that tramp lying in the pool of urine and vomit? That's your aftershave, that is.

I fucking hate Longthorne.
If he was to come down my manor and start singing his poncy girly bollocks, I shall say Oi Longthorne. NO. Much as I admire and respect your ability to hold a note, I take offense at that note cracking my imitation Georgian window panes. Shut yer maaf, turn around and fuck off back to Butlins you airy fairy nancy boy.