egafd.com

For one moment there, Keith---sorry, I mean, Sam----I thought you were being serious.

Ok I give up

what do you do when a bear attacks?

I've read 'A Short History of Nearly Everything'.........last summer.

Actually, I tell a lie. I ordered it from Audible.co.uk and listened to it while I was in bed.

So there...

'The Progress Paradox' by Greg Easterbrook is a good read, if you've not read it already. It mainly deals with why the easier and more successful humankind becomes, the more unhappy and complaining we get.

Mr Bryson tells us that experts say you should stand stock still. He, however, suggest running as fast as your legs can carry you. It won't do you any good, but it will give you something to do with the last ten seconds of your life.

The first few pages of Down Under were enough to persuade me never to visit Australia (not that I really wanted to go anyway), and yet he made it sound appealing (poisonous creatures notwithstanding).

Get a brick, or rock, and smash your skull in. Less pain you see. You don't want to feel a grizzly bear pulling your gluteus muscles away from the hip bone, nor rip your intestines out to get to the nutritious liver.

If you kill yourself, the bear lost.

Those koalas are bloody dangerous critters even if they take a daily 20 hour nap

Safety around them is all about timing...their ownly awake for 4 hours of the day so the dangers avoidable

I won't go into all the other lovelies that live down under

Tuna, or any smelly fish, in a paper bag, throw the fucker as far as possible, in the direction of the bear, it'll be attracted to the smell.

You'd be surprised at some of the "weird shit" they teach you on the nature/discovery type channels, LOL.

You are assuming that you'd have the tuna and bag to hand in the few seconds before Bruno decides you'd look good on his plate.

If you've never seen The Edge, give it a watch. Absolutely terrifying.

Don't think I'd ever want to see Grizzly Man.

Thanks for the recommendation, Samwise.