A punter's tale....
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:22 pm
....and so this Morning, netwise, to the establishment of spsvideos, renowned purveyors of filth to the Gentry, debit card clutched firmly in hand.....
Click, click, all eftsoons the discs that take my fancy are selected, to the princely sum of ?125 sterling, quicker than to drink a cup of chocolate at Mr Lloyd of London's most excellent Establishment.
Am directed thence to the NoChex department, to render said payment, and repair hotfoot, only to there be adjudged of mere lowly Probationer status and not deemed worthy by said gentlemen of credit to this paltry, piffling amount, and must give yet further proofs of my Good Name- although I deem their calculating-engine must doubtless have communed with my Bankers' calculating-engine, to the effect that my creditworthiness stretches even unto five figures, not counting Compound Interest, Sundry Monies and my world-famous collection of priceless Cheese-labels.......
Well and good, I say, a Plague and a Pox on their House, I shall take my business to NatWest Visa, to whom I am known as a Gentleman of High Repute and Prompt Payment.
But Beelzebub has yet another needle to jab into my gouty ankle- my Worthy Card is apparently not accepted in payment for Rude Britannia products carried by these particular mercantile gentlemen, but only their own (doubtless excellent, but not at this moment desired) products !!!
At which Your Humble Diarist used his Card more wisely, to wit, in the purchase of several flagons of most acceptable Hollands Gin....
If you want another reason why britporn's in trouble.........
Click, click, all eftsoons the discs that take my fancy are selected, to the princely sum of ?125 sterling, quicker than to drink a cup of chocolate at Mr Lloyd of London's most excellent Establishment.
Am directed thence to the NoChex department, to render said payment, and repair hotfoot, only to there be adjudged of mere lowly Probationer status and not deemed worthy by said gentlemen of credit to this paltry, piffling amount, and must give yet further proofs of my Good Name- although I deem their calculating-engine must doubtless have communed with my Bankers' calculating-engine, to the effect that my creditworthiness stretches even unto five figures, not counting Compound Interest, Sundry Monies and my world-famous collection of priceless Cheese-labels.......
Well and good, I say, a Plague and a Pox on their House, I shall take my business to NatWest Visa, to whom I am known as a Gentleman of High Repute and Prompt Payment.
But Beelzebub has yet another needle to jab into my gouty ankle- my Worthy Card is apparently not accepted in payment for Rude Britannia products carried by these particular mercantile gentlemen, but only their own (doubtless excellent, but not at this moment desired) products !!!
At which Your Humble Diarist used his Card more wisely, to wit, in the purchase of several flagons of most acceptable Hollands Gin....
If you want another reason why britporn's in trouble.........