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1. Most German males in porno have curly brown hair with thick mustaches

2. The weather in Germany seems to be very similar to England's.

3. Dubbing the sound of 2 people groaning makes the porno more superficial. Why do they do it?

4. I am surprised at the quantity of porno germany seems to produce
(McC said they have 10 sex shops in each town?)

5. Women should have either short hair or tie their hair back. The number of times the lady or partner have to move or brush the hair behind their ear is irritating.

6. Dave Hardman is a superstud (was he in the Beachboys?).

7. I haven't seen a girl who can use a strap-on like a real man's penis and hip thrust.

8. Music which obstructs the natural sound is usually less erotic.

9. Carol lynn - can't she walk properly in those stilettoes?

Totally agree with you Joe

3. I've heard far to many Euro babes scream out Oh Yeah baby fuck me harder in either an American Drawl or perfect English-its just not real

Why do they do it? Possibly because its headed for the American market

5. Another one of my pet hates-they might as well have a brown paper bag on their heads with eye & mouth slits

7. Natural is best

8. The best use of music IMHO is low background music...I'm still waiting for the greatist porn soundtracks to come out...might be waiting awhile

cheers
B....OZ

Lol!

1 isn't that obligatory for Europorn?

2 to generalise, hotter in summer and colder and more snow in winter. In parts it's your obligation to clear snow from the pavement outside your home in case someone slips on it.

7 anatomy, Gawd bless the differences!

9 quite possible -wearing heels all the time shortens the lower leg tendons and makes flatties/bare feet uncomfortable when walking.

Probably of no real interest - it's just the sort of crap I carry around in my head!

DC

they can do what ever they like and you still buy them,think about how bad they are,critisize them,then go and buy some more.

a viscous circle i believe

happy hunting

Its our right as punters to give feedback

I think you are dead wrong about they can do what they like

I will as long as I live never buy another dubbed porn vid no matter who is in it or how good the review is

Sure its their prerogative to put out the same low cost dross which has no attention to simple details as mentioned above.Several companies in Australia selling this shite for 5 pounds a vid...mainly Euro/American with the occasional Brit.. all originals in PAL VHS

Up until last year I hadn't bought a porn vid for 15 years because of experiencing one crap vid after the other.Its only been since I've gained access to the internet and all the review sites that I have started buying them again.

Maybe the producers simply go by the sales figures
All vids sell the same numbers so henceforth why try and raise the level of performance...only means less profit for them I'm guessing



cheers
B....OZ

i agree with you wholeheartedly good points

While we're on the subject of porn observations/annoyances, let me share with you mine...

When a scene ends (and why does it always end immediately after the sex?) in many many many porn movies, the way the director chooses to move on is by casually drifting the camera towards some unrelated object in the room (a picture, mantlepiece ornament etc.) while simultaneously de-focusing the camera. It's uncreative, predictable and boring. Why do it?

I appreciate we're not watching to get a master-class on artistic direction, but some goddamn creativity would be nice! Or am I alone on this one?

Lets face it theres a lot of low budget stuff which is only thinking of one thing-time is money-so once the money shot has been delivered-cut

I agree even a little bit of banter after the deed has been done is better than just going straight to the next scene

The blurring of the image is pretty mundane as you say...certainly beats a closeup of a bored performer
I quite like that blurring technique during the scene to break the monotony up though

Are there any vids where the couple share a cigarette after the deed?
Now that would be an ending

cheers
B....OZ Creative Juices Dribbling Down His Chin

'Why do it? ' - my guess is it makes it easier to edit the film, the transition to the next scene is less blunt, so the next scene starts by a defocused lens focusing on something else.

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy f*cks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't have sex unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of sh!t out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's c0cks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before f*cking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's c0ck, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a c0ck there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

And.....

Women never insist the man wears a connie
Annoying music and slow motion scenes start playing(on American porn anyway,though mostly softcore only)
The term "bored housewives"is inexplicable-it makes no sense that husbands refuse to shag these women despite the fact they are usually rides
And on a related topic plumbers,cable tv installers and any sort of delivery men in general get the most sex in the world
Most American porn has a plot which takes up the first 10 minutes of the film
No woman has ever objected to being referred to as a"stupid bitch"or "f`ucking slut"during the shagging.Refer to your wife or g/f as a bitch infront of her and see how long it takes to be kicked out of bed
A woman will start to les up with her best friend at her boyfriends first request without question(if only real life was like that )
Men never seem to be a bit jealous when they let their three plus friends ride the wife or girlfriend.
Nobody thinks that there is anything slightly gay about 8 men standing naked around one woman having a wank infornt of each other.
When a man fingers a woman there is only minor moans of satisfaction.When two women do it she moans as if she is taking something 20 times bigger than a finger(women must just know how to do it better)
Half of porn seems to have the word"virgins"in the description/title.Tell me how likely is it for a woman to lose her virginity in a porn film.
Women are never nervous of disease when they shag the likes of Ron Jeremy,who has had over 4000 women(though he,and all other professional pornstars,have to get monthly tests)
Women enjoy shagging hairy obese sweaty men like Ron Jeremy
Respectable women who all their lives have stayed faithful to their husbands,been good mothers etc etc suddenly turn into a total slut who likes lesbian shagging..........just for no reason.Honestly,in these films you will hear them say something like"I dont know if I should do this.I love my husband and I have never slept with anybody else"
10 minutes later she is taking part in a huge orgy with 5 men,eating out her female best friend and shouting expletitives which would make Chubby Brown look gentle.
Alot of sex takes place between nurses and patients,despite the fact you are normally in no mood for sex when you are sick.
Female business executives like nothing better than throwing off ugly glasses and their clothes and letting their hair down to reveal that they are actually good looking as soon as everybody has left the office,before engaging in a wank and photocopying their arse.