egafd.com

Douglas Hurd (herd?) is on now. He still talks in a Fozzie Bear voice but his hair is no longer shaped like an ice cream. And that aint proper IMHO. We need to be able to snigger at Tories hair styles. He seems to be talking sense......I must be getting old.

Here is my dilemma:-

When I sober up I am expected to vote. My choice is between Labour (so confident that they dont even leaflet us), Tory (still banging on about asylum seekers), or BNP which is a laughable option despite their sensible policy on the NHS which I presume is a ploy to win the votes of disaffected labour bods like me.

I used to vote Labour but I am rapidly becoming pissed off at their crap attitude of "hey, who cares this is northern britain so we can still get in without actually doing anything for the stupid mugs who voted for us. Then we can fiddle our expenses and laugh up our sleeves at wankers who thought we cared about stuff. We are just Tories with red rosettes on our poor quality suits. So stick that in your idealistic pipe and smoke it!".

Normally I would just say "fuck the lot of them" and not vote. But as Caractucus pointed out before, you MUST vote if fascist BNP types are fielding candidates (even those forumites who are racist would be a bit upset if the BNP got any power because those cunts would ban porn and re introduce the death penalty for dirty cunts like us who like a porn flick).

So do I break a habit of a lifetime and vote tory? I hate my local labour council because they are undemocratic twats who are all ex miners or shipbuilders and they are on a gravy train. They are badly educutated working class fascist shitbags. Cunts make me puke.

I reckon my hands are tied. No Liberal candidate to vote for. So I am left with a choice of Tory, BNP or worse Labour (they are slightly to the right of BNP).

Advice is welcome from the forumites.

Here in Sweatyland, we have an alternative---Tommy "poll tax rebel" Sheridan and his Scottish Socialist Party are standing virtually everywhere, so are the Lib Dems, so there would be no problem here. That doesn't help you, however. I don't care how bad the Labour candidate, I just would never vote Tory, and as for the BNP . . . You may just have to bite the bullet, Magoo, and vote Tory if you hate the Labour bunch as much as you say.

Of course, that'll just prove what I said below

All I can say is make your vote though gritted teeth, quickly forgot about it & perhaps have a couple of pints afterwards to dull the feeling.

OK then. Labour it is. I will get hideously drunk before voting. Then when it all goes the shape of the pear I can say "it wasnt my fault. I was drunk when I voted those horrid ex shipyard shop stewards into power"

My Council Tax bill keeps going up. They keep spending it on building horrible statues and giving grants to lesbian asylum seekers. No doubt Dibble will agree that wasting money on handwringing lefty focus groups is crap. They should use that money to give poor cunts like me a free curry now and then.

His hair is NOT in any shape or form ice cream like. But I did invent Mr Whippy before I came to power. That was my greatest achievement apart from showing those horrid miners who was boss. I also kicked those Argies arses. Thats just the sort of no nonsense type of guy I was.

No women were allowed in my cabinet. They are air-headed hos and bitches you see. My regime was great. Ask the Ossifer. He will tell you. He was on duty outside my gaff at Downing Street once and I invited him in for a cuppa. He tried to persaude me to model in his latest "well cushty" video. I naturally declined his offer. But he did give me the best shag of my life. Hes a very well endowed officer. Dennis was pissed off his head on gin as usual but he did remark on how Ossifer Dibbs had a rosy glow on his cheeks as he stood on our doorstep that day.

idont vote i saw right through blair yrs ago that speech sent me to sleep,neil hamilton was cool so was his wife but thatcher she was scary!!!

Thanks for your political insight Stephen.

Kilroys not much good this morning is it? I might switch over to see what that ugly bitch Trisha is doing. I hate that woman.

what about ch5 they have the streets of san francisco with a young micheal douglas before he fell for zeta jones!then starsky and hutch with david [silver lady]soul

OK Steve you have persuaded me. Five it is.

magoo old boy, i have an estate in the north i think its called northumberland havnt been there for a while after that misunderstanding with the pit disaster and the cheap pit props we used ,still the insurance came in handy,i had my yacht refitted.

who you vote for is of no importance,it simply does not matter,right wing left wing or center what difference does it make.the real decisions in life are made by people like me,we decide everything in this country of ours,have done for years and then we make tone to rubber stamp it in the promise that one day he can become one of us.