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I think I,m in love with Carol Vorderman, I have dressed up in a white dinner jacket and bought some large bins, and started to develop a cheesy grin, I have also booked a room at the Hatfield travel lodge for two, under the name VORDERMAN. MR and MRS, also I have enrolled on a maths course and taken an unhealthy interest in internet censorship.
Can anyone advise me, will this go away?
one from the top please, and a constenent, vowel please carol, oh god its getting worse, two from yer bottom please Carol...

Lizard - Seek medical advice straight away. You have a very bad case of "Carol Vordermanitist"

And one from the top please, and a vow...

If your trying to be like Twice Nightly Whiteley (Three Times Yearly more likely) then the one thing you do not need to change is your jokes.

Magoo........A Sarcastic Lizard Baiter

What about the dodgy syrup? BTW, has anyone else noticed how often Richard Whitely's shoulders twitch, as if he's doing something underneath his desk?

It makes me wonder which nosher designed the Countdown Clock as it only EVER runs 30 seconds, what IS the bloody point of having a redundant other half of the poxy clock?

i wonder who winds it up?

It may be cos it was a French TV show before being brought by Channel 4.........& of course we all know how lazy the French are............prob' couldn't be bothered to build the rest of the clock.

But they built a reduntant half Wink Wink. You see? Thats what Ace was talking about. Its the opposite of lazy frogs if they build an extra half that never gets used.

Anyway I thought it was the Spanish who were lazy? They took twelve hours to get my bags of the plane last time. And thats not including the twelve suitcases full of Brown Ale.