HCC
Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2002 8:23 pm
It's come to the attention of the P R Mann that concerns have recently been raised on the forum (by Scottish and South African chaps) as to HCC's probity. I would just like to allay any such fears before they take root.
It's true that delivery times have been quite lengthy recently (OK, very lengthy in some instances) But as my good colleague Marcus Allen pointed out this is entirely down to the popularity of Harry's well cushty catalogue featuring top quality British films, interesting British films, and British films featuring that rare thing nowadays, real glamorous girls, that would warrant an invite to feature in quality American mags like Playboy and Penthouse. As well as a full range of internationally produced movies to suit most (mainstream) tastes.
Another factor is (And we always stress this every year) that as well as servicing demand from HCC17 the dispatch guys have had to try and fit in the 'back orders' from the annual HCC Synopsis. This is a huge logistical mountain to climb, as these back order have to be virtually custom duplicated for each individual customer! Harry's video shows are mostly 3-4 hours in length, so at best you can do 3 of these shows a day on one duping setup, some punters order 10 - 20 and Harry has a lot of punters! But the P R Mann is big enough to admit that they maybe HCC could do a little better, but as someone pointed out earlier, punters have totally unrealistic expectations of delivery times. Adult video mail order is still technically illegal in the UK and HCC operatives still face the threat of seizure of their assets (even the roof over their heads, as happened to a colleague recently) and, or, incarceration. So they have to institute security measures which I'm afraid s l o w s t h i n g s d o w n ! Yes, I know some other companies can deliver within seven days, but their logistical circumstances are entirely different. Strange as it may seem companies with mail drops in Amsterdam can offer quicker delivery. HCC can't offer that, but we can usually offer interesting and relevant British movies that are comparatively well presented. Most HCC customers understand and accept this (hey some have been with us10 years!) and realise it is the price they have to pay for the shitty Victorian anti sex laws, which still prevail in this repressed Isle. They don't want to go to their local sex shop and buy one of those well produced, but exceedingly tiresome and unerotic production line American movies. You know, the ones with the covers patronisingly (and incompetently) altered from the American originals by the British distributors, ?cause they don't think British punters are bright enough to accept that it can be a hardcore movie if it hasn't got a throbbing dick on the front! No. Punters want Harry?s movies featuring real girls (as in like ?real sex? which you might have with a ?real woman? not 'pornoland' sex (What the fuck?s all that spitting and slapping about, eh?)
However, there are always a few dissenting voices "Harry's not replying to my e-mails" to which I can only retort "Bollocks" Harry replies to all e-mails even taking the time to reason with those who appear to be one arrow short of a quiver. Indeed, e-mail is probably the most immediate way of contacting the great man. If you don't get a reply, chances are he never received it in the first place.
So, HCC punters keep the faith. If you haven?t received your order yet it is my duty as P R Mann to apologise for the delay, but I pledge that you will receive it in due course. As indeed you have been doing for the past 10 years.
And just to fortify any flagging spirits have a quick gander at what you?ve got to look forward to
P R Mann.
It's true that delivery times have been quite lengthy recently (OK, very lengthy in some instances) But as my good colleague Marcus Allen pointed out this is entirely down to the popularity of Harry's well cushty catalogue featuring top quality British films, interesting British films, and British films featuring that rare thing nowadays, real glamorous girls, that would warrant an invite to feature in quality American mags like Playboy and Penthouse. As well as a full range of internationally produced movies to suit most (mainstream) tastes.
Another factor is (And we always stress this every year) that as well as servicing demand from HCC17 the dispatch guys have had to try and fit in the 'back orders' from the annual HCC Synopsis. This is a huge logistical mountain to climb, as these back order have to be virtually custom duplicated for each individual customer! Harry's video shows are mostly 3-4 hours in length, so at best you can do 3 of these shows a day on one duping setup, some punters order 10 - 20 and Harry has a lot of punters! But the P R Mann is big enough to admit that they maybe HCC could do a little better, but as someone pointed out earlier, punters have totally unrealistic expectations of delivery times. Adult video mail order is still technically illegal in the UK and HCC operatives still face the threat of seizure of their assets (even the roof over their heads, as happened to a colleague recently) and, or, incarceration. So they have to institute security measures which I'm afraid s l o w s t h i n g s d o w n ! Yes, I know some other companies can deliver within seven days, but their logistical circumstances are entirely different. Strange as it may seem companies with mail drops in Amsterdam can offer quicker delivery. HCC can't offer that, but we can usually offer interesting and relevant British movies that are comparatively well presented. Most HCC customers understand and accept this (hey some have been with us10 years!) and realise it is the price they have to pay for the shitty Victorian anti sex laws, which still prevail in this repressed Isle. They don't want to go to their local sex shop and buy one of those well produced, but exceedingly tiresome and unerotic production line American movies. You know, the ones with the covers patronisingly (and incompetently) altered from the American originals by the British distributors, ?cause they don't think British punters are bright enough to accept that it can be a hardcore movie if it hasn't got a throbbing dick on the front! No. Punters want Harry?s movies featuring real girls (as in like ?real sex? which you might have with a ?real woman? not 'pornoland' sex (What the fuck?s all that spitting and slapping about, eh?)
However, there are always a few dissenting voices "Harry's not replying to my e-mails" to which I can only retort "Bollocks" Harry replies to all e-mails even taking the time to reason with those who appear to be one arrow short of a quiver. Indeed, e-mail is probably the most immediate way of contacting the great man. If you don't get a reply, chances are he never received it in the first place.
So, HCC punters keep the faith. If you haven?t received your order yet it is my duty as P R Mann to apologise for the delay, but I pledge that you will receive it in due course. As indeed you have been doing for the past 10 years.
And just to fortify any flagging spirits have a quick gander at what you?ve got to look forward to
P R Mann.