egafd.com

It has come to the attention of my government and indeed it has been brought to my attention that there are still some producers of porn who have not complied with the very sensible and fair licensing regulations we have imposed, (change that to something friendly Alistair) on them.
Lets get this straight once and for all. If you want to live in a democracy then you must do as I tell you. It?s no good trying to go off on a tangent and do just whatever takes your fancy. Whatever next. I was only saying to Mr.Brown last week, he lives next door, Brown, that?s how I talk to him, we must find a way to tax these bastards who are breaking my very sensible regulations. If we are not careful the whole country will be over run with pornographers and ordinary people wanting to enjoy themselves.
Now, I could go on and on just like Mr. Bias (check the spelling of that prats name Alistair) but I am sure you all have the message. If I say no! Then it?s NO.
Now only buy your porn, if you must, from those dirty filthy sex shops who are paying to my government loads of dosh in various taxes. There also running some exceedingly good newspapers. (Make sure this bit goes in Alistair or they won?t support me at the next election) You will also be helping to support one of my favourite private companies, the BBFC, in their gross abuse of people?s intelligence and the usury nature of their charges. These are the fat cats we should all be taking to our hearts, they suffer day after day from watching some of the vilest sexual scenes imaginable, they never moan or groan about the lot that they have been dealt but continue to make excessive charges for doing what I understand most of my back bench do for free in the members? common room. (Alistair, can?t you get me in there some how) Now, lets have an end to all this talk about piracy, leave piracy to those who understand it best, The Customs & Excise and my Treasury. ( Note to Brown: Just how much are we making from the porn business?)Remember, we are a Labour Government, well almost but not quite as left wing as those bolshy Liberals, and as such we have the interests of the common working man at heart. So just do as I say and I will be in power for as long as that nice Mrs. Thatcher. (Is this enough Alec, it?s not as though you?re paying me).
The Prime Minister
Tony Blur

Got so excited, just posted without my name.
Anyway, I was saying that my knighthood is practically assured but if Your Right Honourablship would make that a Lord, I'll most certainly contribute to your pocket-sorry, party

Well done, Tony.

Margaret.

The attendance by Mr. M. Allan at certain of her majesty?s institutions and houses of merriment is well know, and we are very sorry that he seems to have forsaken some of his old friends for the company of nubile young ladies.
If he would care to pop round to No. 10 clutching the usual brown envelope I am sure that an agreement on his future elevation can be amicably reached.
For those who don?t know Marcus, I hope he won?t mind me calling him by someone else?s name; he is a rather strange and marvellous individual. As my minister for brewers, bawdy houses and bedrooms often remarks, ?to see one man consume such prodigious amounts of Scottish liquid hospitality is akin to watching England win the world cup, it also happens more frequently?!
He is of course well know in some of the better hostelries and lady bars in Soho, I my self before my elevation to royalty and the keys to No.10 have helped carry him home and put him to bed. He is I feel one of those ?stout fellows? typically British in all but his night time activities.
I feel that his elevation to The Other Place will only benefit us all and is to be applauded.

I can assure you that I whole heartedly agree with the Right Honourable Gentleman in no inconsiderably small measure whatsoever. And so I might add does Norma. It is indeed a highly agreeable and sensible speach and is in no small measure considerably amusing.

Your Graciousness,
I am deeply honoured, nay-humbled
I shall now enter into deep consultation with my advisor the hon John Walker(Order of the Black Label)
May I also propose my hon friend Mr McCavity as Minister for Scottish Affairs (I use the term loosely)

Well done all concerned: better than 'Dead Ringers'.

Is it true that Tony & Cherie have invited Remington round to film them doing the biz. Gordon Brown will help out on the DP. Anne Widdecombe doing a solo masturbation scene to round the tape off.

That would be in no small measure not inconsiderably almost I might add quite reasonably satisfactory.

OK I own up it was me doing the John Major thing above (or below).

Well I thought it was funny but not as funny as the posts from Herr Blair Das Fuhrer. Well done RS.

.......the real reason Widdy wouldn't let L Theroux into her bedroom was that she'd got 4 Chippendales and a chimpanzee tied up in there.
Iss true, I read it in the Sport.

I heard last night that 'Dead Ringers' is now on the telly, and removed from the radio. I hope it transfers well, because the radio audience have lost the best thing on radio since...er....the other impressionist programme which was brutally axed during the 're-shuffle' of a few years ago.

What's this got to do with Adult Films......well, nothing, actually!