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I hear it's Chipmas RIP!

O tempora, o mores!

Sob, sob

Yes indeed, darkness has descended on this small corner of Essex. Celebrating Chipmas in the traditional way is, from August, mere potato history.

But the memories of generous portions from fat Marian, singing man, eating sweats, Shaggy passed out on the floor, and hiding plates and cutlery will never ever fade.

We can still consume Chipmas fare in the dark depths of the studio but it just wouldn't be right somehow.

No piping hot potato products at desks.

Poor old Mrs Dodd. And where will TSB get his starch from now? Those barely-cooked spuds were the only things holding his gigantic frame together!

Is it because some fat ad person has whinged about the smell, while clogging up (and stinking out) the microwave for 40 minutes with her disgusting pasta slop?

Better make the most of it while you can - I'll expect to see some serious bloatage all round next time our paths cross!

PS - at least there's still the sandwich lady. Oh, hang on though...

It's all part of the professional working culture that's been introduced. I'm all for it. Less time eating means more time to work ? and that's got to be a good thing!

And don't worry, Fop, there's plenty of bloatage here, chips or no chips! I was hoping that the pressure of sitting in the Knave chair would've caused stress-related weight loss. No such luck!

You'll need to sit somewhere else if it's weight loss you're after. About 4 o'clock - and ideally after chips.

Anyone managed a triple flusher of late?

Apart from Jane, I mean.

4pm's just about right - too early and you get Mary, much later than that and it's Joan interrupting the flow! Any of your editions out yet? If so, do send a copy here ??mags and papers have gone the same way as Chipmas!

At ?20 a set, you'd have though they'd have had more than enough chashage to spunk for a new canteen - one that was worth every penny.

Or at least one that was 'quite impressive'. Or splendido.

What are you doing here? Go on, shoo shoo - back to work with you?