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I would have still clanged him, 1) for being lippy, 2) For having a Scouse accent and 3) For all those decent motorists who have an empty space where a CD player once sat in their car

Wow, great subject header Maggs, but steve will hijack it soon with something like: best Git Bugger/Toss Cunt.
Any road up, glad yor dog is safe I love animals, but I,d still twat it for legging it with your kid, there,s nothin worse than an unloyal dog, hold it by the back legs out of the window of a tall building, er.... top floor, and whilst gently stroking it,s back, inform the bastard its going sky-diving if it doesn,t buck up.

Liz. (no animals were hurt in the making of this post)

A 'shoeing' never hurt a mutt, go for it Magoo, I'm sure us fellow forumites will 'look the other way'

Bad news there bro, but hey at least your cat sounds as Garfieldesque as mine, and he too is of the ginger & white variety.
Huge massive dog like cat thing that punches my dog in the head. Hefty lazy, pretending to be deaf, tuna eating, stretched out on his back like a whore bastard.
My dog is a new addition and thick as his bastard dog parents.
I'm like "SEIZE" which the fuckwit mistakes for lick.

Anyway, you said when your name was mentioned he fucked off. Why? You some big old gyangsta? You some rude bwoy dat duz ting an raas to dem peeple dat disrispek yu an cap dem an nuf nang tings?

...still thinking of one for M.Khan