if football clubs were women.........
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2003 5:07 pm
Arsenal ? Mariah Carey - Looks the part, but whinges like fuck when she cant have her own way.
Aston Villa ? Natalie Imbruglia - One big hit, but now just hangs around annoying everyone.
Birmingham City ? Charlotte Church ? looks solid at the back and a bit of a fiery one. Has one ugly mother for a manager.
Blackburn Rovers ? Janice Battersby - Common as muck Lancy, but strangely likeable in a down-to-earth kinda way.
Bolton Wanderers ? Delta Goodrem - Always looks like she might go down
but never does!
Charlton Athletic ? Denise Van Outen ? Chirpy but pointless Cockney who just never seems to go away.
Chelsea - Maggie Thatcher - Hated by millions, supported by idiots!
Everton - Barbara Windsor - Been laughing at those tits so long we forget
that once upon a time they were actually quite good!
Fulham ? Jennifer Lopez- has had millions of pounds and bags of hype thrown at her, but is still ultimately talentless.
Leicester City ? Sarah-Louise Platt ? Very short on cash and prospects, but ?foxy? nonetheless
Leeds United - Christina Aguilera ? one seriously Dirrrty bitch.
Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor - Individually all the components look
fantastic - just doesn't work when put together.
Man City ? Kate Bush ? Mad as a fuckin hatter. Has some belting moments then disappears for years on end.
Man United - Jordan ? Hated by millions. Massive tits no matter how you look at it.
Middlesborough ? Atomic Kitten- Can look quite good at the back -
but nothing at all up front to speak of.
Newcastle United ? Kat Slater ? Great up front, but cant shake the uncouth element
Portsmouth ? Tracy Barlow - Recent resurgence. Likes to dabble with the older man.
Southampton ? Little Mo from Eastenders ? Quiet as a mouse and knows her place, but impossible to dislike.
Tottenham ? Madonna ? Been shit for years, but still thinks she?s ?big?.
Wolves ? Betty Turpin ? Totally pointless and shouldn?t even be there.
Mex
Aston Villa ? Natalie Imbruglia - One big hit, but now just hangs around annoying everyone.
Birmingham City ? Charlotte Church ? looks solid at the back and a bit of a fiery one. Has one ugly mother for a manager.
Blackburn Rovers ? Janice Battersby - Common as muck Lancy, but strangely likeable in a down-to-earth kinda way.
Bolton Wanderers ? Delta Goodrem - Always looks like she might go down
but never does!
Charlton Athletic ? Denise Van Outen ? Chirpy but pointless Cockney who just never seems to go away.
Chelsea - Maggie Thatcher - Hated by millions, supported by idiots!
Everton - Barbara Windsor - Been laughing at those tits so long we forget
that once upon a time they were actually quite good!
Fulham ? Jennifer Lopez- has had millions of pounds and bags of hype thrown at her, but is still ultimately talentless.
Leicester City ? Sarah-Louise Platt ? Very short on cash and prospects, but ?foxy? nonetheless
Leeds United - Christina Aguilera ? one seriously Dirrrty bitch.
Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor - Individually all the components look
fantastic - just doesn't work when put together.
Man City ? Kate Bush ? Mad as a fuckin hatter. Has some belting moments then disappears for years on end.
Man United - Jordan ? Hated by millions. Massive tits no matter how you look at it.
Middlesborough ? Atomic Kitten- Can look quite good at the back -
but nothing at all up front to speak of.
Newcastle United ? Kat Slater ? Great up front, but cant shake the uncouth element
Portsmouth ? Tracy Barlow - Recent resurgence. Likes to dabble with the older man.
Southampton ? Little Mo from Eastenders ? Quiet as a mouse and knows her place, but impossible to dislike.
Tottenham ? Madonna ? Been shit for years, but still thinks she?s ?big?.
Wolves ? Betty Turpin ? Totally pointless and shouldn?t even be there.
Mex