Victory parades - it's only fair
Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2003 6:19 pm
Now as commendable as it is that finally for the first time in goodness know how many years we've finally got a world champion team and as right as it is for them to have had this parade through London village I find myself turning to the teams who have returned home in utter failure, namely the overpaid nancy boys who play soccer. They go out promising to return glorious only to come home, with no surprise to anyone, in humiliating defeat.
So what i propose is not too dissimilar to the victorious Engalnd rugby team. Instead of the footy team waving from a open top bus decked with flags waving to cheering crowds they should be paraded on top of a dust cart whilst being pelted with rotten fruit and veg by a crowd chanting the old favourite football ditty which goes,' You're shit and you know you are/ You're shit and you know you are', on and on into the night. They would then proceed onto Battersea dogs home where they are greeted by 100 sweat drenched lorry drivers who proceed to drop their trousers baring their hairy arses again to fart the anthem ' You're shit and you know you are!'. Just before they head off again the most bedraggled forlorn looking mutt wanders over and cocks his leg against the captain emitting nigh 3 minutes worth off the mnost rank smeeling piss known to man.
From here they would be transported at top speed by the dustcart (around 8mph) to a sewage works. Arriving there at around 3 in the morning tired, dissheveled and smelling of cabbage they would be ceremoniously tipped in to the slurry where they would drag themselves out and have to walk home whilst being over taken by a milkman doing his deliveries.
A fitting end nay tribute to the appropriate team(s) I think you'll agree.
This to me seems just and fair because this lets be honest they ain't going to win Euro 2004 are they? Again.
I thank you
(Insert meaningless phrase here)
So what i propose is not too dissimilar to the victorious Engalnd rugby team. Instead of the footy team waving from a open top bus decked with flags waving to cheering crowds they should be paraded on top of a dust cart whilst being pelted with rotten fruit and veg by a crowd chanting the old favourite football ditty which goes,' You're shit and you know you are/ You're shit and you know you are', on and on into the night. They would then proceed onto Battersea dogs home where they are greeted by 100 sweat drenched lorry drivers who proceed to drop their trousers baring their hairy arses again to fart the anthem ' You're shit and you know you are!'. Just before they head off again the most bedraggled forlorn looking mutt wanders over and cocks his leg against the captain emitting nigh 3 minutes worth off the mnost rank smeeling piss known to man.
From here they would be transported at top speed by the dustcart (around 8mph) to a sewage works. Arriving there at around 3 in the morning tired, dissheveled and smelling of cabbage they would be ceremoniously tipped in to the slurry where they would drag themselves out and have to walk home whilst being over taken by a milkman doing his deliveries.
A fitting end nay tribute to the appropriate team(s) I think you'll agree.
This to me seems just and fair because this lets be honest they ain't going to win Euro 2004 are they? Again.
I thank you
(Insert meaningless phrase here)