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Could someone tape the Six O'Clock New tonight in case I miss it? Cheers. Just had an interesting dream where the lovely Ms Raworth demonstrated how a lady "strums a banjo" live on the telly before enjoying a lovely lezzy tonguey kiss with Helen Willets. Actually, don't bother---no doubt those killjoys at the Beeb would cut transmission just as things got interesting!

"More rotting Stilton for me before bed tonight!"

That's the last time I pay any attention to dreams

You're mistaken -it really happened, unless we're [shudder] sharing the same dream.
Oh, except it wasn't Helen, it was Kate Sanderson.

"Stilton?- a cheese for pussies. Pass the Limburger and Gorgonzola, oh, and some of that Ruby Port.
Oooh, me gout's playing up tonight........"

You must of got the wrong night...........M. Fish was going the weather tonight.........wearing a seethough nightiee (damm that was my dream!!) Yours is still to happend!

I will record every six o'clock news for the next few months til Sophie has her sprog & send you all the tapes by Parcelforce to your hideaway deep in the country side!!

Cheers, Wink Wink. What with those, and the Class A cheese JJ will be supplying, I should have an excellent few months!

........apparently they're going to downgrade the Gorgonzola to Class B.
My dealer is hopping mad, as it'll severely cut into his profit-margin.
He's thinking about branching out into Spanish cheeses, if the Mafia'll cut him in.

Shouldn't that be "grate him in"?

Ouch !
You're sharper than the tang of an Extra Matured Farmhouse Cheddar.....

[EC note: due to recent legislation, that above characterisation should now read: 'A Little Bit, Quite Strong-ish, Small Factory within 10 miles of a Farm, Cheddar-type Cheese Product, Not Necessarily from Somerset. Produce of the UK'. Thankyou for your attention.]

H M Customs are now retraining their siffer dogs to spot contriband cheeses being brought into the country......the smell should be the telling factor!

I don't know what sort of weird stuff they've been feeding me lately, but I'm hallucinating us on the end of a thrashing from Wales.

I was warned to avoid a Brie Encounter.