egafd.com

I think I am growing tit,s, would anyone like to cop a feel, Iv,e had a lot of 'rich food' recently, instead of my normal diet of moe't and caviar, or it could be that we haven,t had any decent twatting weather in this cunt,ry for 3 years, and me hormones are playing up, I think I will fuck off to the states for a couple of months, I might even drop in on Bimmercat, providing he doesn,t live in one of those ghastly 'trailer park' places, where people shoot you for saying hello! anybody else noticed their paps growing, or is it just me, I may have to borrow Ms Lizards wonderbra, as things are, or stop eating game pie..

I told you not to steal my steroids you fool. They were a faulty batch remember.
Now you too, will have to cope with drunken yobs copping a feel of your love pillows.
I recommend the Gossard Wonder Bra. It makes me feel so....fresh.

Nice to see you boys 'expressing' yourselves.
Um.

Wait till the nipple-rash sets in. You'll soon see the benefits of Damart feminine underwear.

It will be a cold day in hell before I get me damart out! do Gucci make a range? I expect Holden shops at 'poundstrecher' for his apparel, but I,m banned for shoplifting....

Poundstretcher!!!
How dare you, you unfeeling bastard.

It's ?LAND actually.
It's a good place to mingle with the single mother society.
I usually go to the one in Woolwich south east London.
Many a single mother that goes from MacDonalds to ?Land with a Bic Mac and 4 kids in tow.

How I love that romantic plaintif cry of "KYLIE, BROOKLYN, ROMEO, ALLUPICIA GEDOVER 'ERE NAAA YA LITTLE CUUUNTS UZ AHL SMACK YER FACE IN. NAAA WOT JOO SAY WHEN YA MEET A NAARS MAAN?"

And the kids say, "Are you my dad?"

How fine and dandy they look in their Kappa tracksuits with fake gold on their fingers and round their necks.
They keep Elizabeth Duke & Cubic Zircona in employment.


Anyway, you was caught shoplifting for toilet rolls so don't start on me Lizzo. Besides, there's only so many you can stuff down your pants without looking sus.
I believe I held the record of 42 rolls and thats not talking about my gargantuan gut of love.

What a fascinating insight into the underbelly of the town I live in and loathe so dearly.
I must visit ?Land and Woolwich at the earliest opportunity......

.....I believe I have a window somewhere in the fifth Millennium, shortly after Hell freezes over.......

BTW, Jonathan Meades once 'reviewed' the Woolwich McD's for the Times mag, and described it as the 'worst place I've ever eaten in'.
I think he needs to get out more.

How did we get from my tit,s to ??????????land, so quickly, I may have to borrow Holdens 'chopper' to get some excersise, the only thing I have done today is open the fridge door! I expect most of you have been 'jogging' swimming, and the like, but dont think I,m not fit! I can open 6 bottles of grolch in 20 seconds, and turn the television on in half that time.
I,m off for a while, Ms Lizard has just shown me her new thong, with her in it, and I feel a strange stirring, this time it,s not me bowels.

I,ll be back!

I've heard it claimed that beer has something in it that can make some men a bit 'booby'. Strange really, because 'beer guts' seem by far to be the most common side effect of getting rat-arsed too often - like more than 6 times a week is too much.