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I've been listening to New Order and The Smiths for the last hour and still can't seem to cheer myself up.

Anything but Depeche Mode.

I have just got back from Newcastle, and I,m shagged out, so I cant help you with your choice of music, why dont you do some gardening, that may help, Magoo, if your reading this, I was in Blake,s cafe on N,umberland st this morning after a heavy night, and as I came out, an extremely sad looking tramp asked me If I wanted to buy a big issue, I,m afraid I was a bit sharp with him, and told him it was a shite read, anyway he had a sad look in his eye, so I just gave him ?4, then it dawned on me, it was probably you! were you wearing a vomit stained bomber jacket, and piss stained football pants, with trainers that didn,t match? also did you have a 3 legged dog with you, wrapped up in a blanket?

I think my abiding memory from the eighties as regards music is not the frilly shirt, fleck-suit and make-up wearing bum boys, but those ridiculous, irony-deprived Tory MPs who got up in the Commons to protest every time The Smiths released a new, provocatively-titled single.

Think I'd prefer to gargle with razor blades than do any gardening. But thanks anyway, Lizard.