Calorie counting for forumites
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:56 pm
It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody has made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after 'original proprietary' research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES
With her consent. .......................................... 12 calories
Without her consent .......................................... 2187 calories
OPENING HER BRA
With both hands ................................................ 8 calories
With one hand ................................................ 12 calories
With your teeth ................................................ 485 calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM
With an erection. .............................................. 6 calories
Without an erection. .............................................. 3315 calories
POSITIONS
Missionary. ......................................................... 12 calories
Lying down. ...................................................... 78 calories
Standing Up ......................................................... 812 calories
Doggy Style ......................................................... 326 calories
Italian Chandelier. ................................................. 2912 calories
ORGASMS:
Real ..................................................................... 112 calories
Fake..................................................................... 1315 calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging. ................................................ 18 calories
Getting up immediately. ............................................. 36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately .................. 816 calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION
If you are
20 - 29 years .......................................................... 36 calories
30 - 39 years ............................................................ 80 calories
40 - 49 years ........................................................... 124 calories
50 - 59 years ............................................................1972 calories
60 - 69 years ............................................................. 7916 calories
70 years and over .................................................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly .................................................................... 32 calories
In a hurry ................................................................. 98 calories
With her father knocking at the door ............................... 5218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door ................................ 13,521 calories
Results may vary.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES
With her consent. .......................................... 12 calories
Without her consent .......................................... 2187 calories
OPENING HER BRA
With both hands ................................................ 8 calories
With one hand ................................................ 12 calories
With your teeth ................................................ 485 calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM
With an erection. .............................................. 6 calories
Without an erection. .............................................. 3315 calories
POSITIONS
Missionary. ......................................................... 12 calories
Lying down. ...................................................... 78 calories
Standing Up ......................................................... 812 calories
Doggy Style ......................................................... 326 calories
Italian Chandelier. ................................................. 2912 calories
ORGASMS:
Real ..................................................................... 112 calories
Fake..................................................................... 1315 calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging. ................................................ 18 calories
Getting up immediately. ............................................. 36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately .................. 816 calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION
If you are
20 - 29 years .......................................................... 36 calories
30 - 39 years ............................................................ 80 calories
40 - 49 years ........................................................... 124 calories
50 - 59 years ............................................................1972 calories
60 - 69 years ............................................................. 7916 calories
70 years and over .................................................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly .................................................................... 32 calories
In a hurry ................................................................. 98 calories
With her father knocking at the door ............................... 5218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door ................................ 13,521 calories
Results may vary.