egafd.com

One for the chav fans. The other day I blagged a lift in a chav mate's car (A modded NOVA!!! Honest!). I was ASTONISHED to hear that he was playing "Tubular Bells 2" and that both him and my other chav mate were both "Bigging Up" (That's chav for "To praise") Mike Oldfield and debating the merits of each album in the Tubular Bells series as well as some of Oldfield's other albums.

They are PROPER chavs too, both live in Braintree, both are into modding cars, both piss away all their wages on lager and attending crap pubs religiously. They live the chav life, wear the chav clothes so WHY the interest in and knowledge of a proper musician?

A Nova? Barry'd up to the hubs?
For real? Legendary.
Gyp up a banger and be stylish.

"A Nova? Barry'd up to the hubs?"

I swear to God, an orange Nova fully "Modded" in chav lingo'. Lord knows what he's done to it (Apart from throw money at it with zero chance of even seeing a fraction of it back when he comes to sell the bleedin' thing. Chavs don't understand finance at all!) but it sounds AWESOME! There we were in the mean streets of downtown Braintree with all the pedestrians looking around probably expecting to see a 355 or Diablo or something really cool only to see this puny little twatty car making the demonic sound!

I was grateful for the lift but I did feel a complete tosser while in the Nova! Chavs eh?

I saw one whilst coming out of Safeways.
The wanker and his mate were in a Barry'd up Fiat Cunt or something.
It was tiny, but very red with flames down both sides; tinted windows and a bitch tits spoiler at the roof end top of very flat boot.
The exhaust was cherry bombed to infinity and the ropey sound system was playing some gay Junglistic Hardcore for Dummies.

They even went up and down the road twice just to impress and lay-deeez that might need a lift.

The boot had just about enough space for a set of stolen fucking hubs.

...oh and they were both wearing caps.

Ashamed to admit it, but I still have my Bad Boy Nova

Yes, it has blacked out windows and leather seats, black on black......oh the shame

About time to sell it eh?

No! keep it, it might be worth a fortune on chav-bay one day, or Tracey Emin might buy it for her latest work of 'Art' ......

It would only be art if Tracey wiped her skanky arse on it.

Not sure how much you'd get for it...but I have a cunning plan....
Drive to Romford/Basildon/Pitsea/Vange/Penge or Barking and you will be hailed as a God.
Sell it down there and you just might make enough to get a bus back home with your rep & dignity intact!

You heartless bunch of cunts!!

It is a fine line, but a modd'd hatchback does not necessarily a chav maketh.

What is alarming is the amount of people of a similar ilk are getting their hands on good cars like Impeze Turbo's, Mitsi Evo's, Seat Cupra R's... I didn't realise Yes! Car Credit stocked such models....