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On venturing out this cold morning, to obtain a copy of the latest Playboy to bang one out over Denise Richards, I'm flicking through the art pamphlets in my local newsagent when I can hear this woman sobbing, so on investigating the said woman standing by the counter, furiously munching away on a mars bar, and crying her eyes out in front of the bemused shopkeeper who only wants his money, (she also was drinking a can of irn bru)
"What's the matter? are you ok?, have you been hit?" I asked
her words were not even audiable,
"Have you been hit? shall I call the police?"
she nodded
"Get her a fucking chair! I say to the shopkeeper

"I just want to go home! she says

"were do you live?" I asked (it was 2 mins away)

"I'll walk you home come on, have you been hit?"

she nods

"Who your old man? what?"

"No I was almost killed by a train last night" she says

"Why are you crying now?" I asked

"Because I cant take anymore" she replies

"Is there anyone at home who can look after you, your old man?"

she nods

"For fucks sake call someone if your having trouble eh love?" I say

Incidently she lived just behind the video shop I used to own, so I let her walk on, shinning my torch to light the way, saint fucking Arnie! lol
so then I go back to the shop and pay the ladies tab, she'd muched her way through a few mars bars and some wrigleys as well! lol
Luckily enough a few people I know saw me walking along with her, as she obviously isn't very well, just in case she gets home and decides to say I tried it on or worse still attacked her
Lovely way to start a Sunday morning, and I never did get my fucking copy of Playboy either

That sounds worse than my day! last week my brother and i were off in to town, walkin down the path i see this car and i think its gonna mount the pavement! i see a woman drivein and some big geezer in the passengerside i tell me brother that shes a silly cow! shes gonna fookin kill someone! as i pass the car i notice the window is down on the passenger side...............

So there i am waitin on the bus stop and this big guy(from the car) is walking towards me shoutin whos the little BASTARD MATE! ???, the fucker squares up to me aswell!.. his wife lingering in the background, well if he wants to rock and roll i am ready! but he backs off and tells me to watch me self ?????
PRICK

After the trip i get home to find out my Grandad as just died!!! talk about a good day out

Shit Neil that's fucked up mate sorry 2 hear that, you shoulda give him a quick, short, sharp, shock, dig it? I mean he got of lightly cos you coulda give him a thrashing... good manners don't cost nothing, do they eh?

He fucked of into the cafe after! bet he was knackerd after running all that way for a few words