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I didn,t see the boat, I have had a message from a bank in Ireland, saying could you return thier money, as it,s xmas, and a lot of kids will be going without presents, they said " the cash machine just fucked up" and one punter withdrew all the cash, we know who he is though, when pressed for the identity, all they said was " he is a prominent shagger of lasses, and resides in the north east!, we knew his identity, as he left 18 empety bottles of brooooown, a half eaten kebab, and a 'richard' an the pavement.
A police spokesperson said " e,s a wrongun alright, all those poor bairns going without, just so he can buy a warehouse full of tabs and booze" the cunt! one local resident, who refused to be named said " I even let him use my toilet, and now it,s fucked, how heartless can you get"
NI police said.....have a canny xmas.

In which case, happy new year, magoo.

I can only surmise that, like with the six pack I accused someone else of drinking at a party once, the culprit was in fact the person doing the accusing. Lager? Pah!

It's either that or someone knows the combination number to your fridge.