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I have really fucked up with a girl by doing something that Im completely ashamed of and I wanna say and prove to her that I am genuinely sorry but I dont just wanna send her flowers or something like that - I wanna do something more thoughtful, a little different. Anyone got any ideas? Money is not an object here, getting her back is.......

Jay

cant you ring her back or write her a letter?xplaining

Its a very complicated relationship (as mine always are) - I have spoke to her about it already and she says she forgives me, to forget about it and she will get over it in time but I just feel like a complete shit and want her to know how much I regret what happened and how sorry I really am. I think at a time like this that flowers can just be seen as "cheap" as there is no thought in that so I was looking for ideas of something I could do which is not the usual run of the mill thing

Jay

think i can understand i may have said the wrong thing to sue last call .

is there one special thing shes always wanted? whether it be sentimentally important or materialistically....preferably sentimentally. if so id lead with that

forget flowers ur right the confession of guilt is just too cliched and the lack of thought makes things worse....flowers are for birthdays (etc) and on odd occasion for absolutely no reason at all.

when things settle you could always try and take her somewhere in the world shes always wanted to go or to see something shes wanted to see....

generally id say stay away from materialistic things as it implies you put importance on money and its affect to influence women

if u could give more info on her that might help....but good luck mate

take her out for a meal ;what food does she like indian,chinese,italian?

Not sure what I can say about her that might help - she is not a very materialistic person but little thoughts and that extra effort mean the world to her. I have lost her trust cos of what I have done so I need to know how to get it back - by that I dont mean what I need to buy but I figure the first thing is to show her how much she means to me and how I disappointed I am in myself. I went out yesterday and bought one of those me to you bears and a card saying sorry but just havent been able to think of what to say so havent sent it - Im shit at this, me and relationships are a disaster area at the best of times and this one is a million times more complicated than usual so I just dont know what to do for the best for me or for her.

Jay

i cant seem to make it with anybody either they usually just wind me up or take the piss ive fallen out with a few too over this.

She's already forgiven you, said it will take some time. And if it is a question of trust, all you can do is wait and hope that you earn that trust again.

No amount of gifts or expensive gestures will speed up that process, particularly since the lady herself would see through such things.

Best of luck, Jay. Sorry I can't help.

Not at all - you are spot on, Im just a very materialistic and impatient person and waiting just doesnt agree with me. I know that I have to earn her trust all over again and I dont have a problem with that cos truth be known Im not sure I would have given me a second chance.

Jay