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My dog's a greedy bastard.
When I tell him to fuck off out of the kitchen he looks all wounded and pretends to have a limp.
Cunt.

One of my cats is fucking enormous.
A right fat bastard.
It's not that we overfeed him at all, but he goes to all the old dears in the area and sucks his guts in so tioght that they take pity on him and feed him pie, spam & chips.
He's a cunt.
He comes back home all smug and laughs at the other 2 cats and then begs for more food.
I hope he explodes one day.
Cunt.