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I went in to property just before the big crash.
Then I bought a cafe the month fucking Edwina Currie said about the salmonela egg scandal. And to top it off went into porn production when the market collapsed around us. Anyone want a partner?

I really shouldn't have had that sex change.

Oh well. You live and learn.

Bidding an obscene amount of money for a classic guitar on ebay........and winning the fucker!!
I grovelled and grovelled, but the cunt wasn't having any of it and I got a strike against my name. It DID sell afterwards, at ?1500 less than I bid.

Talking on guitars and Marinos experience with the market collapsing, I part exchanged a used 1972 Fender Stratocaster in 1983 for a new Washburn that were billed as the next great thing, and like Kramer, Charvel/Jackson and Hamer guitars, they WERE shit hot.
About 6 years after that, the 'new guitar' market had been saturated and these guitars were as common as dog shit. The market for modern guitars crashed and the 'vintage guitar' market just rocketed. YOU see the difference in prices on ebay to see what I mean. At the time it was right, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I still have that Washburn, and it plays like a dream, as do the other 20,000 models they sold that year, but if I sold it, I'd get ?600 maximum.

Shelling out nigh-on two hundred quid for my one and only purchased shag. Why do it when you don't have to??

*groan*

Sorry Fudgey. I thought I'd given you value for money!
Was it because I wouldn't swallow?

Telling the HR woman at an old job that she had awesome tits! She had a superb pair of approx 36Ds which she flouted in low cut tops but wasn't too taken by my comment.

Getting shit faced in a bar in Vilamoura and behaving like a prat when a really fit Swedish girl was trying to chat me up.

Never made one. They're always made for me by the various arseholes I meet especially in this business.