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Who? Santa that's who. Don?t let that beard and Norwegian charm fool you. This guy is no hippie. He is a dangerous authoritarian. If you do not conform to his insidious conception of ?nice? you risk being classified ?naughty? and denied basic presents. Everyone is kept under surveillance, parents are turned into informants on their own children and Santa catalogues the good deeds and the bad. What is more, he can only deliver his presents if he keeps a comprehensive computerised database of names and chimney locations. It is only a matter of time before this information is shared with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, and before you know it a cheeky request on a Christmas list from five years ago could see you lose all profits from your tooth harvest.

Its not as if the system fosters any kind of equality anyway. We all know that although Santa?s ?presents for all? populism might appear to treat each case on its merits, but when the service is applied on the ground we find evidence of blatant institutional racism. It is a well-known fact that Father Christmas is less likely to visit children from Muslim, Hindu and Sikh families. Yes yes, we?ve all heard the excuse about a lack of available chimneys, but I notice that Santa will gladly slip in through the French windows for middle-class atheist families. He is also happy to pocket the filthy shill from Coca-cola Company for corporate sponsorship, but do you see the elves getting a pay-rise? No, the fat bastard Father Christmas is a Lefty in name only.

Time was when young people would have cared about the questionable ethics of their largest benefactor. But not this generation. Oh no. The ?me? generation too busy talking about X-boxes and X-factor to even consider whether Santa?s seal-skin boots were bought Fair Trade or not. They see the presents dangled in front of their eyes, and once again they fall for his patter. They will let him into their bedrooms, and there is nothing the parents can do about it. Only when Santa has sledged off into the night sky will the parents be called to sort out the misery in his wake. Once again, the cumbersome, centralised, present giving system will not have supplied batteries for the presents, and decent, hard-working parents will be called in to pick-up the tab......

I thought Santa Clause was based on St Nicholas. Whered he get the red garb from? Youd think for all his flab and age he'd have a lot of problems delivering presents around the world anyway. Like a lot of mythical heroes, Santa Clause seems to be based on what the establishment consider God to look like...Over weight, long flowing white hair and beard with a deep voice saying ho-ho-ho.

To most people he is just an icon to commercialism rather than the celebration of the birth of Christ....Yeah you know. Christ, that bloke who came down to Earth and became the son of man and gave his life to save us from our sins.

Lets face it, who gives a hoot about all that racket anyway, Christmas is now known as Xmas which indicates most people dont really care about all that blah anyway. its just a good reason for people to blindly follow the systems commercialism to make up towards the end of the year what they lost from the beginning (or a last ditch attempt to get fatter from it). I just dont think anyone realises it...Or cares.

"I think Coca Cola thought the red outfit looked more jolly and festive.
Plus it stood out on advertising posters more."


.....and the fact that red and white are the principal colours of the Coca-Cola brand! Shows you how powerful they are, if they can 'buy' Christmas, and transform the perception of it by changing the image of it's key icon.

Did Rudolph have a green nose originally?

Bring back green Santa. Or bring in a cool purple one. And Rudolph should have a multi-changing, multi-coloured nose to indicate his mood at the time.

!oldie! !xmas!

I'd give him one, nearly