Dear Sam,
that fellow on YouTube is driving me round the twist with his irrational zeal.
I have to go for my afternoon nap now, so please be a good chap and take over the job of taunting him for a couple of hours, would you?
Sam Slater - The One, True God
Re: Sam Slater - The One, True God
!tumbleweed!
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Sam Slater
- Posts: 11624
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: Sam Slater - The One, True God
Yes Steve, though I am the one true God, these here forums are full of non-believers. They will perish for their ignorance.
I am a just, kind and understanding God. I do not want to be prayed to, I do nor want power, nor money, not will I interfere in which days a week you should rest, tell you what foods are acceptable, or force you into genital mutilation.
I only ask that all fameles over the age of 21 pay homage to my realm once every calender year. They will interact with their true God in ways only for the eyes of women. They must be clean, disease free, and most importantly, of open mind and keen.
They will be 'christened' by my special 'holy juice' -so to speak- but this blessing only lasts exactly one calendar year, and they must return every year before menopause. Any woman above menopausal age will be exempt from paying homage -due to my kindness- and will be forever required to introduce themselves as so: 'My name is Helen, and I have served my purpose'.
Females under the menopausal age are required to introduce themselves in a similar way, but they are 'serving'.
To show my generosity, some females will be exempt regardless of age. To make up for this there will be a few 'chosen ones' that will compensate by paying homage every quarter. These chosen few should be attended to by society when they're not paying homage to me. They are to be untouched and admired from afar. Disciples will be required to address these few as 'Sams birds'.
My disciples need not no any more than this knowledge. Life carries on as normal for my people as not to unbalance nature itself..........for I do not claim to be all powerful; I am not your maker, only your 'shaker'.
Your God loves you in many different ways, but he loves you all..........especially my birds.
I am a just, kind and understanding God. I do not want to be prayed to, I do nor want power, nor money, not will I interfere in which days a week you should rest, tell you what foods are acceptable, or force you into genital mutilation.
I only ask that all fameles over the age of 21 pay homage to my realm once every calender year. They will interact with their true God in ways only for the eyes of women. They must be clean, disease free, and most importantly, of open mind and keen.
They will be 'christened' by my special 'holy juice' -so to speak- but this blessing only lasts exactly one calendar year, and they must return every year before menopause. Any woman above menopausal age will be exempt from paying homage -due to my kindness- and will be forever required to introduce themselves as so: 'My name is Helen, and I have served my purpose'.
Females under the menopausal age are required to introduce themselves in a similar way, but they are 'serving'.
To show my generosity, some females will be exempt regardless of age. To make up for this there will be a few 'chosen ones' that will compensate by paying homage every quarter. These chosen few should be attended to by society when they're not paying homage to me. They are to be untouched and admired from afar. Disciples will be required to address these few as 'Sams birds'.
My disciples need not no any more than this knowledge. Life carries on as normal for my people as not to unbalance nature itself..........for I do not claim to be all powerful; I am not your maker, only your 'shaker'.
Your God loves you in many different ways, but he loves you all..........especially my birds.
[i]I used to spend a lot of time criticizing Islam on here in the noughties - but things are much better now.[/i]
Re: Sam Slater - The One, True God
Steve R
Did you here about the dyslexic vicar?
He thought there was only one true dog in heaven.
[img]http://v4.sportnetwork.net/phorum-5.1.1 ... /splat.gif[/img]
Did you here about the dyslexic vicar?
He thought there was only one true dog in heaven.
[img]http://v4.sportnetwork.net/phorum-5.1.1 ... /splat.gif[/img]
Letch
Letch by Name
Letch by Nature
Letch by Name
Letch by Nature
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c.j.jaxxon
- Posts: 1465
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: Sam Slater - The One, True God
Thank GOD only women are to worship him or us men would have our manhood questioned!