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Firstly the eggs were not Jock eggs, only a fucking scotsman could wrap an egg in dogshit, then cover it in breadcrumbs to conceal it's sell by date, I admit the pickled onions were somewhat of a problem, but claim immunity from prosecution, as there was fuck all else in the house to eat, well apart from some fig rolls, and that would have been the end of your janitorial carreer, give my condolences to your mate who had to do that job, must have been some rodding, it took all me strength to push that one out!
Meadow hall has only just re-opened, after a particularly bad blockage, I had eaten a vicious garlic mushroom, and it fucking took me out.....

But as you well know, shit happens, I'm not looking forward to being a pensioner, as I like to spend at least an hour in the crapper...

I once did 1 and half hours on a tourbus, everyone else was asleep and I felt the 'pull' of a richard coming on, so I went to the bog, the whole thing was rocking, never go on a coach! and fuck me there was a game boy in there, next thing I was playing 'tetris' for nearly an hour, tried to get up and me fucking legs went ,like a pensioner on acid, happy days though...

They could be happy days again, Hooky, if you'd only make peace with the other guys.

.....right planet, wrong band/s, seriously coach toilets are a nightmare, you just settle down for a pony, then the driver suddenly realises he's taken a wrong turn, then after he's hit the right road, your left looking like your having a dirty protest...Italian coach drivers are the worst of the lot, fag in one hand, coffee in another, mobile stuck under the chin, steering courtesy of the knees..

(Okay, lads---that's Hooky off the list)

Surely when you're a pensioner, you've got all the time in the world to spend on the shitter...

WigBilly wrote:

> Surely when you're a pensioner, you've got all the time in the
> world to spend on the shitter...


Apparantly not, you have to wait for your slot, and they put an egg timer on you.