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MY BRAZILIAN NIGHTMARE! - Cheryl Waxes Lyrical.

PETE CALLED ME A SLAPPA! - Jordan Confides.

MY TATTOO HELL! - Amy Gets It Off Her Chest.

I'VE BEEN A DIRTY GIRL! - Kerri Comes Clean.

MY DENIM HEARTACHE - Nancy Tries It On.

Do you, like me, hate those fucking celebrity chav bird mags - you know, like Heat, Hello, OK, and all the rest? Do you think they?re sending our once fragrant English roses doo-lally - and maybe even adding a little extra crumble to their flakes? Would you like to ban such banal, mind-numbing, cack from the shops? Or, would you go further and inter the casts of Eastenders, Emerdale, Corrie, Hollyoaks, Neighbours, Home and Away etc, on the grounds that they were dangerous subversives?



Officer Dibble

If we were to ban anything that could be subversive, we'd have nothing, Ossifer.

No matter what you and I think about such celeb-obsessed mags (and I suspect we agree on their worth), enough people buy them to keep them going. And enough people watch the brain-rot shows on telly featuring "celebs" doing banal stuff to keep them going. As a capitalist flag bearer, you of all people should know that the market dictates.

Nice to see you joining the Guardian-reading intelligentsia calling for more brain stimulation for the masses, though )))

The kind of garbage that you wouldn't wipe your ass with

I've noticed recently on Australian TV that ridiculous late night celebrity programs have started popping up all sponsored by these vacuous Mags

Most of the writing that goes with the pictures is fabricated bollocks

Pete Doherty reveals all >?

Your right C which is why this sort of fodder should be attacked from the otherside

It does seem kind of strange that pn;y the papparazzi to happily snap all & sundry and sell their films while the rest of us would be jumped upon for invading another citizens privacy if we took a snap without first asking permission.Makes me wonder why theres a double standard?

Better yet charge a few celebs with indecent exposure and see how quickly they all start wearing clothing like the rest of us giving the paparazzi fuck all produce to peddle

I?m not dogmatic about anything, Carac. I?m more of a pragmatist. I?d gladly fund public institutions like the BBC if their remit was solely to maintain and celebrate established standards in culture, art and literature. So that it was always there as a benchmark or reference point. The masses are not concerned about quality in any sphere - it generally goes over their heads. They can?t differentiate the sublime from the mediocre. But nowadays the masses have much more economic power and freedom to set the agenda, and if we leave it solely to them (the market) they may just drag us, and society in general, down into the gutter.

I fear we?re becoming a nation of wealthy, low attention span, Muppets and divis (IDEEEE! IDEEEE!) with little heart or soul.




Officer Dibble

Yes- but I just don't read them.
Why fill what's [left of] my mind with trash?

And I'm pretty sure our equivalent generation in 1960 felt the same way, Dibbsy. Celeb culture is rather like fast food---easy to cope with, pretty tasteless and immediately forgotten. There will always be demand for the haute cuisine that is food for the mind and the soul. But for every one person who eats chateaubriand or lobster thermidor, there will always be 100 happy with Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Sorry for pushing the food motif a bit hard there.

Officer Dibble wrote:

> PETE CALLED ME A SLAPPA! - Jordan Confides.

I saw It blabbing away on the Jonathan Ross show the other day. I was amazed at the extraordinary high level of non-ironic, hypocritical bullshit eminating from It.

It castigated one of these "celebrity" mags for taking and publishing pictures of It, and yet at the same time It was publicising Its all new reality, behind the scenes, warts 'n' all, television show - where cameras followed It and Its glove-puppet boyfriend from their home in both the UK and USA.

My point is; these "celebrities" crave and desire the oxygen of publicity that these magazines give them. Let's be honest, if they didn't publicise their activities would we have heard of any of them?